One of the hard and unexpected consequences of this experience with Jud is that I am having difficulty relating to the problems of other moms with young kids.  When I hear them talk about their challenges, I must admit that most things seem so minor to me in light of watching Jud suffer and die.

Life is messy.  And life in the midst of grief is especially messy. I have been thinking a lot recently about my interactions with friends and even acquaintances in my grief: some are sweet, some are okay, but some sting. A few things stand out to me. First, it means so much when people acknowledge

Dear family and friends… Today marks four months since Judson was set free from the chains of his deteriorating body and made whole in the arms of Love for which he sang. This month has passed a little more quickly than the three previously, but the pain and sorrow continue to deepen. We are learning

As I was writing about seeing Judson everywhere, and wanting to continue to see him in everything, I realized, once again, the similarities between my relationship with Jud and my relationship with Jesus. Just as I see Jud in everything, The Lord wants me to see Jesus in everything.  To have eyes that are wide

Dear Jud… You are everywhere. I see you in Jessie.  I see you in Lightening McQueen, Mickey Mouse, and Thomas the Tank Engine.  I see you at every playground and park.    I see you in every dandelion.  I see you in every fountain.  I see you in every car, truck, van, bus, or SUV. 

Grief and depression go hand-in-hand-grief naturally triggers depression; it is a normal part of bereavement. So what does life look like for the depressed, grieving person? The answer, for this mourning mother, is currently unraveling in my soul. And so, I cling.  I cling to the hope for restoration of life once again: Though you

I have many people in my life who regularly want to know how I am doing; they are sincerely concerned about my grief process and how Jud’s death is affecting me. Unfortunately, things have been so difficult that I almost dread those recurring questions now.  It is not that I don’t appreciate their genuine concern,

At Judson’s graveside service, each person was given a stone.  We were told to hold our stone throughout the service; at the end we would build a small monument to commemorate God’s power and grace reflected in the life of our Jud.  Part of the process would be letting go of our stone as a