Judson's Legacy

Heartache and Hope

My Imagination

My Imagination

Dear Judson, I miss you.  I miss you every day.  I miss you every day, but there are certain days that feel particularly like torture living without you.  While most moms are elated at the thought of celebrating Mother’s Day as all their children shower them with appreciation for what they have done and do,

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A Year and a Half Without Jud

Dear family and friends… A year and a half has passed since Judson passed. As I reflect on the last 18 months, it is apparent that a year and a half without Jud is different than half a year…but that’s all it is—different!  It’s not easier.  It’s not harder.  It’s just different. There is something

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Race Car

Race Car

I couldn’t help but cry when I saw pictures of this race car.  Our little boy who absolutely loved vehicles and could distinguish between an “Audi” and a “Corvette” would have blown his mind at the fact that his picture is on the side of this “Modified”. Isn’t it ironic that it is because of

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No Longer the Islands

No Longer the Islands

I’ve been reading the book “Lament for a Son”* which is a compilation of Nicolas Wolterstorff’s journals dealing with the death of his young adult son.  I highly recommend it as a book for grieving parents but also think it could speak profoundly to those who are trying to understand or relate to a grieving

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Shaken Faith

Shaken Faith

It is not uncommon for people to ask why our faith has not been shaken by this experience with Jud. I probably stammer slightly in response to this question because it feels so completely contrary to my experience; though our faith may not have been dislodged, it has been so incredibly rattled, spun and joggled

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Three Categories

Three Categories

It is as though my life is now divided into three categories: BK (Before Krabbe), DK (During Krabbe), and AJD (After Jud Died).  Every picture, every memory, every past conversation is now marked by Krabbe disease and automatically filtered into one of these three mental categories. If I recognize something is BK (Before Krabbe), I

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Sinking Feeling

Sinking Feeling

It was just over three years ago when I first experienced that horrible sinking feeling of fright as a parent.  Judson was about 14 months old and in his bedroom doing “alone time”, in what I believed to be a baby-proofed room.  As I sat at our computer in the living room innocently checking my

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The Pendant

The Pendant

When I went to get Jessie after her nap this afternoon, seeing my tear-stained eyes she immediately asked, “Have you been crying, Mommy?” “Yes Jessie, I’ve been crying,” I slowly responded. “Why were you crying?” she probed. Her question triggered the tears again, “I miss Judson so much, Jessie.  I just wish I could be

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