Losing a child is nine parts unthinkably horrible, and one part gift. The secret to surviving is in finding the gift.—D. Steel God has said that he wants to develop in our hearts greater depth of character and spiritual understanding through our trials.  Is this not the gift? The challenge to my survival has been

Pain is not the enemy of joy. This is my latest revelation. Frankly, it’s probably my most significant revelation since Judson became ill 2 years ago. I have been wrestling with this idea quite a bit the last several days. As I have spoken in various settings about our journey, I have often shared about the

Dear family and friends, The 7th is upon us again and we have been living 20 months without our Jud Bud.  Each time I write one of these updates, I search my heart trying to understand what my most pervasive feelings have been during the month.  The last couple months have felt similar…as though we

Soon after Judson died I recall calculating out the date when Jessie would be the exact same age as Judson when on November 7, 2007 he breathed his last breath.  At the time, it felt like that grim day was well into the future, and the dread I felt in my heart was still a

On Sunday our pastor began his sermon by rhetorically asking how much people in their everyday lives consider eternity, fixing their eyes on heaven.  He guessed that for most people, little to none of their thoughts focus on our eternal home. Prior to Judson’s death, I would easily fall under that synopsis, living my life

It must have been over 45-minutes I spent in the greeting card isle at a local store in an attempt to find a fitting card to give to my dear friend Sarah for her bridal shower.  Yet, my emotional gag reflex seemed to forcefully kick in as I read card after card that spoke of

Light arises in the darkness for the upright—Psalm 112:4 In need of a good cry last night I got away for some time of solitude and went to the beach to watch the sunset and let the tears flow. As the night sky began to emerge with the setting sun I noticed a flashing red

I’m up in the middle of the night tonight feeling a deep, unsettled, provoking pain in my soul without an understanding as to what specifically triggered such a stir in me.  My mind is racing around, jumping from recent experiences, to various interpersonal interactions, to the complexities of my current sorrow, to my desires to