Dear family and friends,
The 7th is upon us again and we have been living 20 months without our Jud Bud. Each time I write one of these updates, I search my heart trying to understand what my most pervasive feelings have been during the month. The last couple months have felt similar…as though we are slogging through, but trying to live well in our sorrow along with all the other challenges that are part of everyday living.
However, this last month held many days of remembrance, triggering greater intensity of emotion on such occasions. We experienced the two-year anniversary of when our world started to crumble on the 13th of June. We celebrated Judson’s half birthday on the 24th of June, acutely aware that he would now be four and a half. And we noted the day that Jessie surpassed her brother in age on July 3rd, a particularly daunting reality.
We continue to peel away layer after layer of our grief, exposing the depths of our sorrow incrementally. I see it as a grace that we experience the many nuances of losing Judson gradually, for surely we would be unable to bear up under the full weight of our loss all at once. Yet, this also means there are constantly raw areas of our wound, and I have become very weary of my grief. Therein, I have been asking God to ignite our joy, to grow our enthusiasm for the path he has for us, and to give us patience and endurance as we persevere through our heartache. So often, before losing Judson, I would hope for these things through a change of circumstances, but since our little man’s absence is irreversible, I am challenged to find the joy and enthusiasm that is inherently part of growing in relationship with my Father, not necessarily a result of external blessings.
But it should be noted that there are some external circumstances that are particularly exciting. This month I finished my final edits on Judson’s book and everything seems to be moving along as expected; the manuscript is now in layout, which is the final stage of production and then it will move to marketing and distribution.
Furthermore, we had mentioned in a previous update that we were approached by Talent 1 Media, a non-profit organization designed to impact the world through arts and media, about allowing them to produce a 10-minute documentary “to share God’s hope and faithfulness through Judson’s testimony.” The film will be directed by Peter Chung, an award-winning filmmaker, especially known for his work on “Name, Age, Sex,” a documentary about human trafficking. The project proposal has been developed and pre-production is underway, with the expectation that this film will be available as media resource to churches, organizations, and individuals. We feel so honored to have Judson’s story told in this manner! If you would like to view the proposal you can click here and if you feel inclined to financially support this project you can go to http://talent1media.org/donate and designate the donation to “Story of Judson.” We look forward to writing further updates about the progress of this project.
After composing the last two paragraphs, I am struck by the profound ways that God is choosing to use our little boy. We miss Jud so much, but also cannot deny the work that God is doing. To him be all glory, honor, and praise!
Thank you to all who continue to be mindful of us in prayer. We would really value your prayer support for Drake’s work situation (sorry to be vague), for the above projects, and most of all, as I stated previously, for God to make his abundant joy more alive in our hearts, despite our pain and circumstances.
Thank you for seasoning our lives with love and grace by walking this journey with us through the gift of technology.
Christina (on behalf of Drake too)