Judson's Legacy

Heartache and Hope

Cannot Muster

Cannot Muster

There are days I simply cannot muster a smile.  No matter how hard I try, the pain in my soul keeps the smiles from being able to surface.  And since smiling is such an important part of human interactions, even around those who know I am grieving, I find it difficult to relate when my

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Mine Alone

Mine Alone

When I am with other people it is not uncommon for them to see sorrow written on my face or to notice tears pooling in my eyes.  These are the surface emotions; they are easily shared with people who care.  Family and friends readily engage these feelings with me. However, it is only in solitary

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Rubber-Band Ball

Rubber-Band Ball

So often my emotions in grief feel like a huge rubber-band ball. There are so many different feelings, all of them tangled up together and hard to sort out; they create a heaviness in my soul.  And it is as though I can’t get to some of the central emotions until I deal with the

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Mason

Mason

This is Mason.  He died of a leukodystrophy today. This journey of losing our Jud Bud has thrust us into a community of people who are TRULY walking (or have walked) through the shadows of death—death of their beloved kin—precious souls born from their own flesh and blood.  I read daily about moms and dads

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Stunned

Stunned

It has been almost 9 months since Judson died; the amount of time he has been gone equals about one quarter of the time he lived.  Yet, I continue to experience profound shock over his loss.  I am aware that the stages of grief are not linear, but surprised to keep finding myself stunned and

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Tremors

Tremors

A good-sized earthquake hit Southern California today. Jessie and I were waiting at the mall to meet a friend for lunch when the ground began to shake as the earth started to quake.  We heard crashing up above as I grabbed my little lady and hustled to the nearest doorway. As patrons of the mall,

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