As I experience more with age, I have become acutely aware that life is a constant yielding of hopes and expectations, some big and some small, but this journey is often not what we planned.

Drake and I celebrate 14 years of marriage on Wednesday…and as I reflect on our years together, I almost have to chuckle at how different our life is from what we envisioned it to be. 

I remember sitting on a curb in the parking lot outside my residence hall in college, months before our wedding, discussing with Drake what we imagined for our married life at this stage of the journey: owners of a modest home, four kids who would now be between the ages of 5-12, Drake would be long done with his PhD and teaching at a local Christian college, so on and so forth.

Our life hardly resembles those dreams.

Disappointments, hardships, and challenges edge into life, pushing out or completely squelching many hopes and aspirations.

Our friend who just discovered the baby developing in her womb has Down Syndrome.  Yield.
Our friend who finds herself in a marriage with an alcoholic.   Yield.
Our friends who lost their house because they couldn’t afford it.  Yield.
Our friends whose mom was just sent home to die of cancer.  Yield.
Our friends who are infertile.  Yield.
Our friends who have been without work for months.  Yield.
Our friend who remains single with a longing to be married.  Yield.

Life is a constant yielding of hopes and expectations.

But strangely, in my own life, I have actually discovered that it is through the yielding that I have found God.  The disappointments, hardships, and challenges have grown the space for God to work and move in my heart.

I continue to hope and dream, knowing there is more to be surrendered in my future, but I invite God to work in the yielding and trust that he will do so.