We have definitely felt much vulnerability by making Judson’s story public—we are periodically confronted with disheartening critique, strong opinions of opposition, or downright vulgarity.  It’s been toughening us up to endure more and more difficult remarks, a challenge that seems to be par for the course of allowing Judson’s life and story to be shared in a variety of contexts.

But I unexpectedly brushed up against some of the ugliness of humanity yesterday.

Throughout the morning, my phone kept beeping with notifications of new messages regarding Judson’s story—evidently I was receiving a fresh onslaught of comments.  So I did some investigating to determine the source that was spawning such interest and discovered Jud’s video had been posted on a site that was generating thousands of views.

I was encouraged that someone had been moved enough by Jud’s life to share his journey on a platform that had already produced over 30,000 views for the day.   So I poked around the webpage, curious about the site, and noted a link for comments; it indicated over 100 people had already written a response to Jud’s video.  Probing further, I clicked the link and began to read.

There were expressions of sadness and condolences, along with tears and tenderness toward Jud.

But sprinkled throughout the page were many absolutely brutal comments conveying disgust and hatred toward our precious boy and family.  Comments full of expletives and words of violence jumped off the page.  One included “… I hope his mom gets raped…”

I paused at the deprivation, aghast at such an evil thought being anonymously hurled into cyberspace at a woman—a woman who happened to be me.  I felt a lump in my throat as I continued reading.

People piped in, expressing how they were repulsed by some of the comments and standing behind Judson and our family, but then I read this, “I hope he died slowly, from excruciating pain…LOL…little filthy nasty ass-cracker!”

Tears began to pour down my cheeks as pain pulsated through my chest.  I was sickened by the darkness of humanity, the depth of evil in hearts, the sheer wretchedness that people felt comfortable expressing online.

Somehow we had become the random target for these bullets of verbal violence being fired into the air.  And although I could separate myself from the circumstance recognizing these words actually had little to do with Jud and our family, I was disgusted and broken.

I felt the searing pain of evil as I sat in our big, comfy green chair and wept for humanity—sickened, appalled and horrified by the wretchedness in mans’ heart.  We clearly live in a harsh, broken, deteriorating world.

But I was simultaneously thanking God.  I was thanking God for sending his Son into this depravity to rescue us.  I was thanking God that he is alive and at work in this world.  And in that moment, I was especially thanking God that Judson is safe, that my boy will never again endure the evil of this world.  He is protected from the hostility of these comments.  Judson is free from sin and death.

In this acute experience of humanity’s ugliness, I found myself basking in the beautiful hope of God’s kingdom.  And in the midst of my own vulnerabilities, I felt an even greater sense of calling to share the story of our son who is now completely immune to this kind of evil but lived a life that speaks volumes of truth, grace, and hope into its ugliness.

Let your kingdom be on display through the life of our son, dear Lord.  Let your kingdom come.

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I just want to mention that for every horrible comment we receive, we also receive hundreds of gracious, loving, moving, and kind remarks about Judson and our family.  To view some of those precious comments you can visit Judson’s Facebook page or this YouTube video.  Thank you to all who express your love and support!!