I am a mother of two children.
Jud’s death does not change the fact that I am still a mother of two children. I will always be Jud’s mom and he will always be my son, even if my time of parenting him here on earth has ended.
Therefore, when I am asked how many kids I have, my response will always include Jud. I anticipate that it could make others feel uncomfortable if they discover he has died, but I will not deny his existence just to alleviate discomfort in conversation.