Judson had a fascination with clocks before he could even speak. He would regularly point them out to us and “clock” proved to be one of his very first words. Because he was so intensely enthralled with time-keepers, at one point we even considered decorating his room with numerous clocks. I also recall discussing whether or not his fascination might remain throughout his life; maybe he would become a clock-maker.
I look back now and cannot help but be intrigued by the fact that a little guy whose life was quickly ticking away was captivated be timepieces. Maybe it was foreshadowing for his limited amount of time on earth, encouraging us to make the most of every moment.
Tick, tick, tick, tick.
Now I am the one mesmerized by time.
Moment by moment I move farther from familiarity of life with my son, unable to go back in time. Moment by moment I move closer to our reunion, unable to move forward in time. So time leaves me in a tenuous state of longing…tick, tick, tick…living moment by moment without my boy.