Judson's Legacy

The Gown


I took Jessie for her 3 year wellness check-up with our general pediatrician, Dr. K, today.  I didn’t think much of the visit until, after taking all of Jessie Girl’s vitals, the nurse asked me to put a hospital gown on my little lady… 

When the practitioner pulled the gown down from a nearby shelf, I was blind-sided by the memories that were triggered by the garment.  A whole slew of emotions erupted in my heart.  She was handing me a gown identical to the hospital attire Judson wore when he had to undergo tests and examinations during his illness.  This was the very garment that signified unhealth, disease, and even death for me.

I watched the nurse place the clean, folded gown on the examination table, recognizing this was a moment to silently press into the pain.

She left the room, and without a word, I slowly unwrapped the blue, child’s gown, delicately placing it on my healthy, vibrant girl.  I made small bows with the ties in back and then watched in amazement as my “Buggy” began to dance and parade around the room, thrilled with her new threads.

All my heartache turned to pleasure as I delighted in Jessie’s excitement.  It was a little moment of triumph to find joy by engaging the pain.



10 Responses to "The Gown"

  1. Ken says:

    Oh My, that girl sure is on a mission. I guess you can’t be blue for too long with Jessie about.
    Ken. XX

  2. Lora says:

    Sending huge ((Hugs!)) It’s funny sometimes the things that will trigger emotions and memories in us. So happy that you have your precious daughter. What a blessing she is! 🙂

  3. kristy says:

    I think Maggie would have done the same thing…in fact,I think she has! Good for you to press on.

  4. Misti Dunlap says:

    Good for you….. for pressing on! Can you imagine how proud of you Judson is. I can just hear him saying…. Good for you mommy! I knew you could do it!

  5. Cathy Horner says:


    As usual, another well written blog of the heart, thank you.
    I just wanted to say, on another note, the photographs you post with your writings are always so beautiful. I am very visual learner and I have a lot of your pictures etched in my every day living. Many are reminders of your stories and a totally different way of looking at life. I appreciate your gifts.

    May Gods many blessings surround you~ Cathy

  6. debbie mceachern says:

    Oh, my heart hurt for you too while I read that.

  7. Jean and Gary Butler says:

    That Jessie is such a gift….just like Jud!!!! God is sure working through Jessie. Your pictures and videos just make us love her more and more.Jud is probably saying…"dance Jessie girl…dance".
    Love you all!!!!!!
    Jean and Gary

  8. Chrissy says:

    Every time I see a picture, I am hit hard with how beautiful he is. And how brave. Wow, those kids are gorgeous 🙂

  9. Allyson Stevenson says:

    I pray for you each and every step of the way. You and Drake are so very loved and thought of! <3

  10. michele stump says:

    "recognizing this was a moment to silently press into the pain"… The way that you are fully engaging in your grief process is so brave and an inspiration to me. I continue to pray for you, Christina!

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