I could be wrong, but I get the sense that people think I am taking Jud’s death better than Christina. Yeah, I know comparison is awful. And, no, I don’t say that with any pride involved. It’s just that after I tell them how I’m doing, the next response is, “Oh. But how is Christina doing?” with a very concerned tone. For most, they’ve seen her tears, while they’ve seldom seen them from me.
The truth is, I think she’s grieving in such a healthy manner. And I’m proud of how she’s walked through our sorrow. She’s been a model for me of how to do it well!
People make the mistake of assuming that tears are a sign that things are not right. (Let’s face it, we men usually do all we can to make sure they stop.) But for a mother who just lost her son in the last year, the natural response is tears. It’s a most appropriate response.
In fact, I’d say that for Christina, and for me, crying is a far more fitting response to our loss than not crying.