I never imagined such an innocuous utterance could become such an intense trigger for sorrow.
I have recently discovered that the word “together” is eliciting extreme emotion in my heart, especially when heard in the context of family. With the forthcoming holidays, people speak a great deal about being together with family. The concept settles in a very hollow, empty place in my heart, agonizingly echoing in the vacancy. I never imagined such a sweet word could stir such pain.
Though desperately longing to be together, our nuclear family is fractured, with the experience of true togetherness being another world away. Yes, our family will be together again someday, but in the meantime, my heart is splintered by the separation.
I find Halloween a sorrowful day. When I see all the little children dressed up it reminds me of Benji. We dressed him in a little mouse suit and decorated his stroller because he couldn’t walk. He looked so sweet. I notice Judson in his stroller too. Is he a racecar driver? It was such a happy time and now it just makes me sad.
Christina,
Halloween has always been somewhat hard for us. Ryan has never walked and he really could never participate in trick or treating. He would have to stay at the base of the steps and have either me or his dad go up and "trick or treat" for him. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you remember your precious boy. I can only imagine how much more you miss him as the holidays approach. ((HUGS))