Judson's Legacy

So Little


Thursdays are still my day to visit Judson’s gravesite when I have the opportunity.  As I laid out my blue blanket on the grass near his grave-marker today and looked around at all the other names of people buried nearby, I started to calculate their ages – 80, 84, 76, 83, 40, 62, 66 …

Then there was Judson – 2!

My audible cries began.  As the lawn-keeper rode by hydrating the nearby grass I was heaving in fits of sorrow as I considered how his death flies in the face of what is “normal”.  I heard myself crying, “He’s just so little!  He’s so little!  Oh God, Judson is so little!  He’s so little and I hate this!”

Each of the surrounding 7.5’ x 3’ plots was probably an appropriate amount of space for the contained caskets, but Judson’s vault holds a tiny little casket of a boy just over 3 feet tall.  There could be nothing right about seeing a young child laid to rest amongst adults and seniors who have lived full lives.

All is NOT right with this world…I look forward to the day Jesus changes that!

5 Responses to "So Little"

  1. lisa taylor says:

    Me Toooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! I just can’t stand it!

  2. Rebekah says:

    It makes me angry. It ISN’T right. That’s been one of the hardest things for me to come to grips with… why Jud?? And yet our God, who is both sovereign and good, allowed it… why??

    I think the answer lies in the fact that Jud’s death IS an aberration and that it’s not the way that God intended things to be. (Death itself being the result of the Fall.) His death seems so uniquely out of place because it IS horrible, more so than the expected deaths of old age.

    It hurts and is so starkly awful to have lost Judson. Why God did not choose to heal him, I don’t know, but it is a comfort to know that He will make all this right in the end, even though it is hopelessly painful and out of place now.

  3. Jean and Gary Butler says:

    You are so right….all is not right with this world; but it sure is in heaven. On my lowest days I just try to look to things above…it is HARD….so hard.I just feel like most days God is saying, "JEAN, look up here….NOT down there." I’m trying Lord and so is Christina. Help us keep our eyes on YOU FATHER.Please…..
    Love and hugs~
    Jean and Gary

  4. Elizabeth says:

    I struggle with ‘why Jud?’ every day still. Usually it’s when I am tucking in Micah to bed. As I rock him and sing, I kiss his hair and cry out to God.. "this doesn’t make sense to me." Usually I hold back tears, as I do right now, and and pray that my children would bring God the praise and glory that Judson does. I truly believed to the core of my being that Judson would be healed, here on earth. Judson lived a much more full life in 2 years than most adults who die at a ripe-old age! Judson is daily on my heart and mind… I miss you Jud the Stud.

  5. Sandy Mitchell says:

    Dear Christina,

    The loss of your sweet Judson is heart-wrenching and unthinkable. His life was so very precious, that even in his absence, he continues to bless us all with the many gifts God bestowed on him. The only peace I find in his story is that now, sweet little Jud is in paradise and does not have to endure the hardships of this unfair life we live in. I truly believe though, that he is still with you and a part of your family and your journey. I think he must be incredibly proud and amazed at the way you continue to honor his short time here and continue to love him out loud! We all love him so much and will never forget him. I long for the day when He does make all things right. Please know I share tears with you on your devastating loss. He was one special soul.

    Lots of love,

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