Dear Judson,

The other day, Jessie asked if she could watch videos on the computer.  We have videos of her, which we offered to show.  But, as always, she wanted to watch yours.  She sat and watched the video we showed at your funeral with me as she so often does.

Your sister loves you, Jud.  And like the rest of us, she misses you!

Your momma and I used to tell you that you were Jessie’s favorite person.  Well, it’s true!  So when you left, she felt the loss.  My sense is that she’ll feel that over her lifetime.  As sad as your mom and I were to lose you, Jessie’s loss may pierce us more.  Our hearts are full of so much love for you both-and so we think of all you would have meant to each other for a lifetime.

Of course, for you it was a lifetime.  That’s just the problem!  I expected to see you have more birthdays.  I hoped to see you grow from a boy to a man-at the same time Jessie Girl grew to be a woman.  But she will grow older and, hopefully, live a long life, and you will remain frozen-at least from our perspective-at almost three years old.  How I wish it would have been different!

Still, Jud, we will carry you with us for a lifetime!  That includes Jessie.  You can be sure that she will hear our memories of you and see the pictures and videos.  She will know that she has an older brother who loves her very much.  She will, like we do, carry you in her heart for a lifetime.  And, for all of us, that will have to be enough.

You’re in my heart, Judson!

Love,

Daddy