It became apparent to me today that I am slowly separating from my intense attachment to Judson’s gravesite. Over the last couple months I have been spending less time with each visit. Whereas I used to lie on the grass for hours, the time has gradually been lessening and the intensity of my emotions has been stabilizing.
Then today, Thursday afternoon, when I would normally, after dropping Jessie off with her grandpa, head straight to Fairhaven Memorial Park, I didn’t. My usual compulsion to visit was not present, so I chose not to go.
But as I sit here in Starbucks pouring out my soul by plunking the keys of my computer, I feel my heart throbbing with this realization. To slowly separate from some of the physical attachments when a loved one has passed can be considered healthy, but to realize it is happening hurts.
I hear you!!! Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of my dad’s home-going. I thought about him but not in the grieving sense. I can’t stay in sorrow because life is for the living so I chose to remember our last meal together which was a hamburger with a slice of rich red tomato and purple onion and corn on the cob.I laughed as I remembered his delight and that gave me a sense of joy. I hope you too are sensing more joy and departing from the sorrow.
I wanted to say Thank you. I have been reading your blogs and crying along with them. I have not lost any children to date and I can only in a very nieve way imagine what you have been through.
I want to say again,… Thank you. this journey that you are traveling is ministering to so many people both believers and non-believers alike. Please know that you are in my prayers and your blogs help me to remember you, your family and others who may be living this same journey. It reminds me how very fragile life is and yet how God truly inteded us to "live" life to see His creation and worship Him even in our pain.
Thank you for showing me how to praise God no matter what.
Thank you for presenting your blog with honesty and openness. It is refreshing and a blessing.
Jesus is so gentle in the way that He helps us along. It is a realization that is personal just for us individually.
Bless you,
Laura
Hi Christina,
Another great and insightful post. I know that no matter how much you separate from physical attachments of Judson, like his grave, he is always, always in your heart. While the familiarity of his life may grow distant, the love will not and will still be there, strong as ever, when you are once again reunited. What a great moment that will be! You are so amazing!
Love,
Sandy