Judson's Legacy

Redefining Pain

I was thinking today about the ways Judson’s time with us and his subsequent death have completely redefined my life.  Everything has changed.  Each little nuance of my existence is viewed from a different lens.  On an emotional, spiritual, relational, mental and even physical level, all aspects of my being have gone through metamorphosis.

This redefining pain has also caused me to reflect on the depths of hardship in this world, triggering a redefining of pain; my understanding of heartache and anguish has been re-evaluated.  Pain has new meaning.

The things in my life that I used to perceive as hardships now seem like simple nuisances.  Previous challenges were really mere irritations.  I was exasperated by simple frustrations and mistook annoying circumstances as suffering.

It has caused me to recognize that living here in the states I knew so little about true hardship; for most Americans, all our basic needs are met, often extravagantly, and yet we speak of our daily challenges as if we are deprived, oppressed, or in danger.  Certainly, we all have difficulties, but put in context with the troubles, suffering, afflictions, and misfortunes of others throughout the world, many of our “hardships” are really just hassles. 

I thought I knew pain—my greatest previous troubles felt so significant at the time, but juxtaposed next to the loss of my son, they now seem like mere inconveniences in an extremely privileged life.  Clearly, I misunderstood the meaning of hardship…until I saw my beautiful son suffer.

And now that I have been intimately acquainted with pain, I hope it develops greater compassion in me for those who are severely afflicted.

2 Responses to "Redefining Pain"

  1. 34090 says:

    I love it Christina!

    I totally and completely agree. Just when I thought I was globally aware and compassionate Carmen put everything into proper perspective.
    We do lead privileged lives, right down to the medical treatment that our children received. It is so important to see how we all fit, not to feel guilty, but know that while we’re eating at a restaurant there are people across the globe that are displaced and/or victims of genocide. We were out for dinner recently and overheard a table of 4 young women talking about tanning for 15 minutes. Really? Is this what ‘privilege’ sounds like?
    Maybe Carmen and Judson would have had this affect on our lives even if they had a much longer life – I don’t know and I’ve given up on trying to find answers and just try to appreciate what was. I miss Carmen dreadfully, and though I never met Jud in person I miss him dreadfully too. I am forever greatful for the impact they have had on my life.
    Look, I wrote you a book! Gotta stop rambling and run. Lots of love to you and your family,
    xo Catherine
    I really enjoy your blogs – you too have opened me up to a new way of thinking.

  2. 33875 says:

    Christina- People magazine did a story on Stephen Curtis Chapman in this week’s issue. I remember you talking about him and his family circumstances in one of your blog so I thought you might want to know.

Share Your Thoughts...

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.