Judson's Legacy

Proof Copy


An envelope came in the mail yesterday that I have been anticipating for many months.  But when I opened my mailbox and discovered that it was sitting there in our small metal container of correspondence, it was as though every surrounding noise from the nearby street and playground turned to silence…all I could hear was my shallow breath and the intense pounding of my heart as it sought to leap out of my chest and embrace the piece of me lying in the packet sent by my publisher.

Before sending a book to mass print, my publisher runs a set of final proofs* to check for printing and coloring issues and a last proofread is done for minor errors that may have been missed; it is a complete book, just as it will be found on the shelves once released.  One copy is sent to the author.

This was my proof copy.  I brought the package inside and sat on the couch clutching the sealed envelope, both eager and broken over what lay inside—a book I desperately wish did not exist, yet am so grateful that it does.

After several minutes, I finally tore into the manila cocoon.  My eyes burst into a fountain of emotion as I considered how the substance of my beloved son’s life and legacy was sitting in my hands, transcribed on paper, bound with a photo of his face.

I smelled it.  I kissed it.  I prayed over it.  I thumbed through it.  I hugged it.  I gazed at it.  I wept over it.  And then I smelled it, kissed it, and hugged it again.  The book seemed to represent all that has been so painful and yet so dear on this journey.  It felt sacred.

Oh how I desperately wish I was holding my boy and not this book, but if I can’t have my boy, I am so thankful to have this book!


*The final proof is certainly indicative of forward movement on the book.  It is expected to be sent to print at the beginning of November.  The release date is set 90 days from when it goes to print to enable distribution; this will likely mean a January or February release date.  However, the book can be sold in pre-release by the author and publisher once it is printed.  Therefore, you can expect a pre-release on Judson’s site in time for the holidays.  We will keep you posted!


14 Responses to "Proof Copy"

  1. Dawn Mills says:

    Oh, Christina…. I burst with tears as I read your message this morning. I wish you were holding your dear Jud instead of this book…but what an awesome tribute to him by a truly wonderful mother. I can’t wait to read it. And although I can understand the pain that may come with it…I pray that it also brings you a new degree of healing.
    Love you…

  2. kristy says:

    Thank you for sharing yesteday; your trust and honesty and courage and strength and desire to do it well inspires me to be all those things as well.

    I’m glad we are able to share a slice of life together on Wednesday mornings. 🙂


  3. Robyn says:

    Christina–I can only imagine the conflicting emotions you feel! How wonderful that the book is nearing its final stages and yet, how heartbreaking that you had such a story to share. I cannot wait to order my copy and continue sharing this journey with you in my own small way. Bless you for being able to love and live openly.

  4. sabrina gavriilidis says:

    Congratulations Christina! I am looking forward to owning my own copy. Your journaling has brought me much comfort, tears too, but mostly comfort. I’m sure your book will do the same. You are a wonderful writer.

    I am sorry you had to live the story at all, but it is a wonderful way to share Judson with the world.

    Your family remains in my daily thoughts.

    xoxo-Sabrina Gavriilidis (Zoe’s Mommy)

  5. Mary says:


    The book cover looks fabulous, just so good. And the title goes so well with Judson’s big ‘ol brown eyes! Looking forward to buying a copy!


  6. General Crumbs says:

    Your posts are so thought provoking and well written. Have you ever thought about writing a book? jk 🙂

    Congratulations on your book, I’m sure it is exciting and also emotional for you. Hang in there.

  7. Samanta says:

    Oh, Christina! My heart is beating faster and tears are rolling down my face while reading your post about Jud’s book!! I wish you were holding your little one instead of it, but life goes on… and your family’s journey through all this pain must be told as a proof of understanding, strenght,love, and above all, a proof of your love to God despite the illness and suffering.
    My heart is with you in this special moment. So sweet your picture with Jessie Girl and Jud represented in the book.
    I hope I can order your book soon from Buenos Aires, Argentina.

    Sam xxx

  8. hh says:

    Wow! Exciting news!! Thanks for sharing your heart with us. Praying for you right now. And praying over this book and the many lives the story inside will touch. I, too, can’t wait to have my own copy!

    Love you,

  9. Sandy Mitchell says:

    Hi Christina,
    As others have said, I wept with both joy and pain when I read this post. congratulations on the book-it looks like it turned out perfectly..the cover truly captures that sweet little boy that is yours. Those big brown eyes of his can make me weep in a heartbeat.

    Praying for you daily!
    Lots of love!!

  10. Chrissy says:

    Wow….how emotional! I’m both very happy and very sad for you…..

    Congrats on the accomplishment! I can’t wait to read it 🙂


  11. angie Green says:

    I couldn’t breathe for a moment, imagining the proof copy of your beloved son’s story coming to your mailbox. What courage this writing has required of you and what a significant way to honor your beloved son. I will look forward to adding it to our Mothers Like Me Grief Care/Support Ministry library after I read it in celebration of Judson’s life! In Christ, Angie

  12. Elaina says:

    Can’t wait to read it!

  13. Amy says:

    I am speechless. I am heartbroken that you had the opportunity to write this book and anxious to see how God has used your story, Jud’s life, and your eloquent, heart-felt writing to bring healing to other broken hearts.

  14. Veronika says:

    I’m looking forward to reading the book. I wish as well that your boy was here but he is looking down at you and is very much proud of you!

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