When I visited Jud’s grave site this week, as I approached, it appeared as though his grave marker had just been placed in the ground.  With this realization, I had to literally take a moment, step back, and breathe deeply before I could proceed, almost as though I was trying to gain the courage to move forward, simlilar to one going into battle.

When I finally decided to re-approach his site, I burst into tears upon seeing his face and name etched in granite—the permanence was crushing.

I am in the throes of grief and yet the finality of Jud’s absence still confounds me.