Judson's Legacy

Pensive Mind


Several years ago, pre-children, while at a weekend church retreat, I decided to take part in a small group discussion with the woman who had been invited to speak for the occasion.  Her words during the previous session had sparked several questions for me, so I decided to join her and a few others for a more intimate time of conversation.  I sat quietly for awhile while others probed her journey and shared a bit of their own.  Toward the end of our time together, I decided to pipe in with a couple of my questions.  I don’t remember what I asked or even anything she shared that weekend, but I vividly recall her response to my questions, “Oh, you’re one of those.  You’re one of those people who thinks about everything.  I’m not.  My mind doesn’t work that way.”

And she was right.—that’s how my mind works!  It is constantly racing with questions and considerations.  I am introspective and reflective.  I think through everything…ad nauseam.   And although I am confident God made me this way for a reason, I am recently being challenged to consider how one potential shortfall of a pensive mind is that it can stifle hope and joy. Thinking through the nuances of every little detail in life can lead one to get caught in the minutia of unnecessary thought, where the heart gets bogged down by the mind.

And so I pray…may my mind may be captive to the grace of God in such a way that I cannot help but exude his hope and joy.

My wheels are turning.
My soul is churning.
Questions are burning.

You made me this way.

With a mind for learning,
Let it be discerning,
And lead to a yearning.

Please make me this way.

Returning, always returning,
To a heart that is stirring
With hope and joy.

3 Responses to "Pensive Mind"

  1. Tammy says:

    I prayed for years for God to give me an off switch for my brain.I would do the would of’s, could of’s, should of’s…losing sleep as I went over EVERYTHING. One of the things I have found on my journey…often my biggest gifts are also my biggest burdens. When I accepted that God made me this way, and learned to love myself…he gave me my off switch. : )

  2. Michal Ann says:

    I’ve been told all my life "you think too much" so I identify with your struggles and with your desire for fullness of joy and hope.

  3. Jody Casares says:

    I too am like this, Christina. I think about everything, analyze it, think about it some more. I want answers, no stone left unturned!! I also have a really great memory. Both of these things together seem to be noth a burden and a blessing…depends on the situation! Sometimes I wish I ad the off switch too! I think I will pray about that one!

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