Jessie is just 11 days from turning two and a half. This wouldn’t be notable except that Judson was just 11 days from turning two and a half when our whirlwind with Krabbe disease began (June 13, 2007). Jessie is the exact age today that Jud was when the doctor informed us they were going to need to do an emergency MRI. Our lives have been changed forever since that day.
This afternoon I held my beautiful girl and just wept and wept at the realization that she is healthy. I won’t have to watch her suffer heinously. I won’t powerlessly stand by as she loses every capacity she now has. I won’t have to observe an evil disease consume her body. Without Krabbe disease attacking my little lady, it is likely I will have the joy of watching her grow and develop from this day forward, rather than deteriorate. I am brought to my knees in gratitude for this gift.
I am also soberly reminded of my sweet boy who began to suffer wretchedly at this point in his life. I look at Jessie run, climb the stairs, jump, and see the world around her and it stirs both praise for her life and intense brokenness for my dear Jud Bud. I am reminded of his horrible suffering and wish so badly that my boy had been able to thrive and live as my Jessie Girl now does. What Judson endured was so incredibly awful. It hurts. It hurts so deeply!
Today I grieve acutely for my Jud Bud and praise God richly for my Jessie Bug. I am also very much aware that all experiences with my “Buggy” beyond this point are new. I have never parented a healthy child past this age; what has to this point felt like deja vu, now ends.