Judson's Legacy



Every mother-son interaction that I have recently stumbled upon has been deeply affecting me.  It doesn’t matter if the son is in his sixties, teens, or infancy, my sorrow thermometer shoots up at the sight of any love and care exhibited in every unique relationship between a mom and her boy.

I watch American Idol and see the pride shaping the countenance of every mother there to support her son.  I am struck by the elementary aged boy who gently places his arm around his mom’s waist as they stand together in church.  I sit in the coffee shop and watch a senior son take care to get his ailing mom a comfortable seat and a cup of coffee just the way she likes it.  I go to the park and observe the moms helping their toddler sons across the bridge to ensure their safety.  I see the new mom look down at her infant son with the glistening eyes I vividly recall having when I gazed upon my baby Jud.  I hear the concern as a mom shares about her young adult son’s recent decisions that are hurting her at the very core.  I observe the mom who joins her mid-life son and his family at a restaurant, all the while delighting in the joy he directly and indirectly brings to her life…

My son is gone.

I miss my son.

6 Responses to "Mother-Son"

  1. Lora says:

    I’m so sorry Christina. Wish I could take away your hurt. Just praying for you.


  2. kathy says:

    hi christina,
    i found your blog the other day. i don’t know you personally but you and your family have blessed me so much. i’m a mother with children (my second son is 28 months old) so immediately my heart died a little as i read about the painful experience you suffered and still suffer today. however, i’m also a christian and i’ve been so touched and challenged by how utterly dependent you and drake are upon God moment by moment. you both speak and write about God as if he is real. i can only imagine how many hearts you’ve lit and led toward treasuring and loving God more fully – praise the Lord for all that he is doing through your family. You are a gifted communicator – thank you for stepping out in faith and sharing this experience. i’ve prayed for you and your family and will continue to do so from this point on. i hope and pray that your experience and the telling of it will effectively light sorrow, pain, and overwhelmingly disturbing emotions within the hearts of all who learn of it so as to point to the devastating yet perfect sacrifice God made for our salvation; and that through it, we would treasure Christ more fully in our lives moment by moment. -kim

  3. hh says:

    Oh, Christina! I have no words to say, but my tears are falling as my heart hurts so much for you and Drake. I love you, I’m praying for you right now, and just want you to know how touched and blessed I’ve been these past moments catching up on a few of your most recent posts. May God hold you close to His heart right now and carry you through the remainder of this day and week.

  4. Jean and Gary Butler says:

    Oh Christina~How sweet is your heart.
    Someday Jud will be reaching through
    Heaven’s gate to help you in…..oh what
    a great day that will be for the two of you!!!
    Love and extra hugs~
    Jean and Gary

  5. Amy says:

    I am so sorry!

  6. Vince says:

    found this on a caringbridge page….
    Vince…… missing Angel Vincie.. forever 17 months

    I’ve Earned Them

    Whoa, what’s this?
    What the heck is this?
    Wow… they are so…
    Glittery… no…
    Yeah that’s it.
    I cant believe how
    Pearlescent they are.

    Wonder if i can make them move..
    Wow, just like that?
    That wasn’t hard.
    They are so…
    Light… no…
    Feathery… no…
    Yeah that’s it.
    I cant believe how
    Angelic they are.

    Woah! wait a minute!
    Am I an angel?
    This is so cool.
    It’s so…
    Neat… no…
    Amazing… no…
    Yeah, it’s really
    To be an angel.

    I can soar!
    I AM the sky!
    What’s that below?
    Is it…
    A river… no…
    A lake…no…
    A mirror.
    Yeah, it mirrors me,
    I can see myself.
    My face.

    Wow! I forgot
    What I looked like.
    Before I got sick.
    I’m not…
    Puffy… no…
    Bloated… no…
    It’s my face I see
    Not the face
    of those drugs.

    My parents loved this face.
    My parents!
    They must…
    Wonder… no…
    Worry… no…
    Yeah, believe I made it here
    Mom and Dad
    I am ok now.
    No pain.

    Hey, that’s right!
    No pain.
    Wow, no pain…
    Not today… no…
    Tomorrow…. no…
    Not ever.
    No pain.
    No more pain!

    My wings!
    I’ll send a sign
    To my family…
    A bee… maybe…
    A dove… maybe…
    A butterfly.
    Or a hummingbird.
    Something with wings
    As awesome as mine.
    Yeah, wings.

    I have earned my wings.

    – MaryBeth Matney

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