Our dearest friends, Eric and Laura Baesel, whom we have known over eighteen years moved to Texas in 2001.  It was an extremely sad transition for us to no longer see them on a regular basis, but we’ve been blessed to have maintained our friendship, allowing it to even grown over the miles.

One of the things that was particularly meaningful was that after almost a decade of both couples being married without children, we each got pregnant with our first child within weeks of one another.  After Judson was born, Keira Grace entered the world 11 weeks later.  It was such a gift to walk through the “firsts” of parenting together and dream of the relationship our kids would have over the years.

Judson had the chance to see Keira a couple times a year, but even in their limited interactions, he clearly loved her.  He would regularly talk about her and point out pictures of the two of them around the house.  Keira was Judson’s first friend his own age and they had a special connection.

Today, Drake, Jessie, and I spent the morning with Eric, Laura, and Keira.

But Judson wasn’t there.

As beautiful as it was to watch Keira and Jessie play together, there was a painful pit in my stomach that could not be suppressed, coloring my every thought. 

Judson is missing.  Judson is missing.  Judson is missing.

How did we lose him from this beautiful equation?  Now nothing computes correctly anymore.  Everything is out of whack.

This is not how things were supposed to be!

Judson is missing.

July 13, 2007: The last time Keira and Jud were together.