Judson's Legacy

Irony of Trust


I have been going to bed frequently discouraged the last several weeks, carrying a heavy burden over some very real needs, full of questions as to what God is currently doing with our family.  Tonight is no exception.  I am lying on the couch confused, disappointed, and frustrated, finding it hard to trust right now. 

And yet I am baffled…

How is it that I can trust my Father in the big things—the suffering and death of my Judson—but I struggle to trust him in smaller hardships?  Have I learned so little about genuine faith that my soul seems empty of it when new challenges emerge?  Should not the lesser things of life be met with greater ease of dependence?

How ironic that such is not the case!

Come, dear Lord, and saturate my empty soul.  Surely you see all my heartache, woes, and needs.  Please fill me with the faith to be steadfast through everything, wherein, no matter how large or small the need, trust doggedly persists.

6 Responses to "Irony of Trust"

  1. Awesome thoughts… Asking the Lord to saturate our empty souls, is so necessary because it so fully shows our desperate need of Him… period. That means for all things, great and small…and that saturation is from the shallow part going to the deeper parts… Therefore, may the trusting in Him be likewise, in various kinds of ways and circumstances.

    Christina, as you learn, grow, and share, I (and I’m certain many others) learn from what you share… I say thank you for being real and being the kind of deep believer that is truly an example and light, for believer and non-believer, alike…

  2. Kristy says:

    I am right there with you, sister. I have complete trust and faith in my salvation (can’t get much bigger than that!) – yet,there are several day-to-day struggles/challenges that keep me awake a night. Maybe it’s because I am trying to do the little things in my own strength, whereas I can let go of my eternal destination b/c it’s just SO big, I can’t do it myself. I am proud of my own ability to do stuff–I am independent (from God) enough to get the little things done…hhhmmm…just food for thought.

    praying for us both,

  3. Ray says:

    You so deserve to be confused, frustrated, disappointed, and waiver in your trust!!! I will continue to pray for you and your awesome fam!!! Thank you for sharing and teaching me so much!

  4. Cr says:

    Breathing deep and praying!

  5. Michal says:

    Christina, I certainly identify. Oh, that I’d have the discipline and Holy Spirit infusion to live as these verses teach:

    Philippians 4:5-9 (New King James Version)
    ?Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.? Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy?meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.?

    It’s so easy to worry which has been called "praying to the devil." It’s so easy for me to "meditate" on the things that are unlovely, unjust and untrue….
    "Michal, apply these verses. Lather. Rinse. Repeat."

    As I grappled with this and prayed diligently, I recalled that these well-known verses also recommend a different focus as the pathway to "crazy peace," peace (trust?) that is beyond my own understanding.

    Proverbs 3:5-6 (New King James Version)
    Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
    And lean not on your own understanding;
    In all your ways acknowledge Him,
    And He shall direct your paths.

    Looking with you for the peace of Christ which guards hearts and minds, Michal Ann

  6. hh says:

    hi christina!

    just want you to know you are on my heart every day

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