I was very emotional last week.
Ironically, I have not been as emotional the last couple days, yet have been struggling more with Jud’s absence.
This has made me recognize how quickly I tend to perceive strong emotion as an indicator that I am not doing well…
But in reality I am often doing better on the days when my emotions flow freely. Though it is not fun to cry, crying seems to cleanse my soul; it feels healthy. Sometimes as I experience the pain of Jud’s death my emotions are flat and my heart feels particularly heavy, making day-to-day life more difficult.
I have previously bought into society’s presumption that crying means one is not doing well, but in my case, I am learning that even if my emotions are readily flowing it might actually be one of my better days. As time passes, I expect my emotions will start to normalize again, but until then, tears rolling down my face does not necessarily equate to being one of my harder days.