Judson's Legacy

Hold It All

The last thing we moved from our old home.

We have moved.

Boxes are unpacked, we are slowly putting up decorations, and our new abode is, bit by bit, starting to feel like home.  The process of getting to this point has been rough, but the end result is good.  All the while I have been learning once again to hold everything in my heart all at once.

I love our old home!  I love that it sat on a park. I love that it was spacious and well planned for organization. I love that it was in easy walking distance of some great places. And most of all, I love that it holds precious and significant memories.  I love our old home!


I love our new home!  I love that it is in an amazing area and feels like we just moved into a resort. I love that it is in a setting ripe for community connection. I love that it is around the block from a fabulous school for Jessie. I love the layout of our living space.  And most of all, I love that Jessie is already blossoming in this environment!

I love both homes…at the same time.  I have found it important to recognize that I do not have to deny my love for our former home to embrace our new home; I can value both simultaneously.

This may seem obvious to some, but I have found in life that my natural tendency has been to feel that two distinct things—emotions, ideas, objects and experiences—must be in conflict; that somehow they cannot coexist (i.e. experiencing joy and pain at the same time).  So to love my new home would have led me to compare and ultimately deny my love for my old home.

Moving toward maturity has necessitated learning to embrace contrasting things concurrently.

The first thing we did at our new home was hang this picture of our whole family.

Are there contrasting things in your life that you are learning to hold concurrently?

Categories: general life

12 Responses to "Hold It All"

  1. Are there contrasting things in your life that you are learning to hold concurrently?

    * Fear and Excitement
    * Dread and anticipation
    * Peace and Discomfort

    Thank you for your encouragement!

  2. Amen to all of those, Katrina!!!

  3. Robyn Morton says:

    contrasting things in my life that I feel/face concurrently: anticipation/fear of the unknown; a sense of "having it all"/sense of loss; joy/sorrow; great patience/absolute impatience; contentment/emptiness. These are a few of things that I feel on a daily basis.

    I’m so glad that you have learned that you can enjoy the now, without losing the past. It’s a great gift, isn’t it? Blessings!

  4. Sandy says:

    One day we will all move to our real home. I don’t think it will be complicated at all. We can finally leave the things behind and finally move to a place we will never have to move again. Not one tear will be shed, and it will be eternally blessed with our Lord Jesus.
    Moving can be traumatic and am glad it’s going rather smoothly for you. Judson moved right a long with you, as he is in your heart. I only hope for sweet new memories for you and your family. God bless.

  5. Dawn Mills says:

    The most significant contrast of feelings in life that I have is that I consider everything we endured with Makinley both the worst and best thing that has ever happened to me. I have a hard time putting it into words and I suppose someone that hasn’t been through it would have a very hard time understanding….but I’m guessing you can relate. While her death was, and still is, the most horific painful thing ever….the love she shared and everything she and the experience has taught me is such a blessing. The whole journey just fills me with emotion….all sorts of emotion…from saddness and anger to thankfullness and love.
    I am so happy to hear you are settling into your new home. It sounds lovely.
    Much love…

  6. Kelly Watts says:

    I love you guys, Christina, and I’m bathing you and your family in prayer today. I pray that your new home will have an immediate sense of comfort, refuge, joy and peace. If I was there, I’d bring over a warm meal showered with a few starbucks cards;) I think often of your precious family.

  7. I LOVE the first thing that went up at your new house!

  8. Samanta says:

    Blessings for all the family in the new home! Loved the first thing you did in your new home!!! A big hug!!!!

  9. Freya Remmer says:

    Hi Christina,

    Your new home looks lovely (at least the part of it that we saw!). I struggle a lot with what you’re talking about… contrasting things/feelings, etc. I was just thinking and praying last night about how I can’t figure out how to access the joy of the Lord or the peace of God when I feel sorrow… and then there’s the truth and reality that He loves me, when I struggle with the thoughts of how it FEELS like He abandoned me. I think it’s a matter of really trying to hold on to truth- no matter what. It’s a challenge, though- that’s for sure….



  10. Brooke says:

    I am so excited for you and your family! Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I passed your book on and it is now residing at my aunt’s house in Arizona. I am curious where it ends up next!

  11. Angie Green says:

    Blessings upon you all, as you add another significant "thread" in your tapestry of life.

    Like you, I know what it is to leave the home where our beloved son, Kevin, grew and "did life" with us, and I also know what it means when it’s time to take that next step, and so my thoughts and prayers are with you, and I’m so happy to see that you are already finding the good in your new location and home.

    We are in California visiting friends and family and I’m always surprised (maybe I won’t be anymore) how my spirit is affected by "returning" to this place where 50 years of our "story" happened. At first, it is actually somewhat hard for me to breathe normally, and I’m overwhelmed by memories, feelings and thoughts of the past.

    As we were driving to visit our oldest son, Eric, and we passed our "old" home, I realized that we have outgrown that space and like trying to put "new wine in old wineskins" that "tent" doesn’t fit us anymore, we are different and this isn’t home to us anymore.

    Yesterday, I told Bob how glad I am that we moved out of that house and to Colorado, because otherwise, I may have become somewhat like Lot’s wife, petrified somehow, stuck, always looking back and holding on to Kevin more than I should. We "reached" outside our comfort zone and in the reaching we are breathing deeper and living with renewed joy.

    May you continue "reaching" and may your joy be enhanced and your spirit of adventure, as sojourners here on this earth, renew your strength.
    Love in Christ, Angie

  12. Ashley says:

    Wilson street holds some sweet memories for me as well. I find myself longing for it, and the people I lived with there too. Miss you guys, thanks for sharing such a wonderful place with us.

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