Upon laying down to nap or sleep, especially this week, the stillness leads my mind to settle on Judson’s last days.
Today marks one year since we noticed signs of impending death in our beloved boy. Everything we feared was coming to fruition right before our eyes—our nightmare was climaxing with the most dreaded reality. There are no words to describe the horrific nature of the memories wherein our son’s body surrendered to the torturous attack of Krabbe disease. All I could do was cry out, “Oh God, have mercy! Have mercy on my boy! Have mercy!”
And I cry out now, “Oh God, have mercy! Have mercy on my broken heart! Have mercy!”
my whole heart and being are hurting and grieving with you Christina. I am praying for you and loving you. I’m so sorry for this pain.
We pray together with you…have mercy on us oh God. Pour your mercy and grace on the Levasheffs. I’m so sorry that Halloween is such a painful memory and pray the Lord will take those images of Jud racing in his car and fill you with hope that you WILL see him again.
My heart has grieved with you ever since I first read about your dear boy, Jud. I read each entry of yours and just feel the emotions you so candidly share about. Jud is and always will be your wonderful boy. You certainly do miss him and will love him forever. Your words remind me to love deeply our loved ones for the time we are together on this earth, for our time here is temporary. As God is your daily pillar of strength, may He be to you as you need Him, at this sorrowful time. Look forward to that sweet day when you are reunited with him in heaven, our permanent home. Have mercy, oh Lord, on Christina’s heart, I pray.
I can’t begin to imagine the horror of those memories, or of your current reality.
But I am praying for mercy for you as you journey through the memories and their consequences.
I have been thinking about you and Drake a lot in the last few weeks as the anniversary of Jud’s heaven day approaches. My prayers go out to you that God holds you tight and carries you through these difficult days ahead.
I echo Rebekah’s words below….
my heart cries out to God for mercy for you at this time and every day until you are holding your precious son in your arms again.
……and we echo Heather’s sweet words….."my heart cries out to God for mercy for you at this time and every day until you are holding your precious son in your arms again"….you will hold Jud again someday….and if we get to heaven before you….we’ll hold Jud for you until you arrive and take him from our arms….Love and hugs~Jean and Gary