Judson's Legacy

Happy Birthday, My Little Drummer Boy!


Dear Judson…

Today is your 6th birthday.  Wow!  It is hard to believe it has been six years since that blessed Christmas Eve when you entered the world and your daddy declared, “It’s a boy!”  I vividly recall your birth—all the joy I felt in my heart along with an overwhelming sense of responsibility for you.

You have been gone now for over three years, yet despite all my brokenness and sorrow, I still feel that intense joy over you along with an overwhelming sense of responsibility.  In many ways my joy over your life has only increased because I have felt the pain of your death.  And my sense of responsibility for you has simply shifted to an overwhelming sense of stewardship over your memory and story.

You are my boy.  I love you so much! 

With Christmas carols filling the air, “The Little Drummer Boy,” one of my long-time favorites, has been touching my heart anew.  It reminds me of you.  Just a little child – small, poor, insignificant by the world’s standards – invited to see the King.  He had no gift fit for his Savior, but longed to honor him.  So the little drummer boy simply offered what he had…his heart, his talents, his love.   This is you, Judson – a small, poor, insignificant child who honored the King by simply offering him your heart, talents, and love.  Thank you for showing me what it means to simply come to God with what I have.  That indeed I have no gift fit for a king, he just wants me to come.

And now you are truly in the presence of the King.  I imagine you drumming for him.  I imagine you singing for him.  I imagine you honoring him.  Then I imagine being there too – I can’t wait to do all those things with you in glory like we once did together here on earth—drumming, singing, and honoring the King!

These days, months, and years without you here only serve to grow my love for you, Juddy!  I have so many unfulfilled longings, deep yearnings, and ongoing pain in your absence, but I find so much joy, strength, beauty, and hope in  your memory.  You are my Little Drummer Boy and my heart will always hear your pa-rum-pa-pum-pum.

Happy 6th Birthday, Judson!  I miss you so much!!!

All my love,

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8 Responses to "Happy Birthday, My Little Drummer Boy!"

  1. Freya Remmer says:

    Happy Birthday, Judson! Your mommy and daddy have made your memory strong… I feel like I know you and love you…

    Merry Christmas to you and Jesus – (He’s the birthday boy, too!)


  2. Chrissy says:

    I agree with Freya – it seems as though I’ve gotten to know Jud through his mommy 🙂 What a wonderful video. Thinking of you all. Chrissy

  3. melanie says:

    Happy Birthday, Jud!

    I still remember the birth announcement you all sent, Christina. Your new little gift was gently stuffed into a stocking! I loved the creativity. Our family prayed for you and the Petermann’s tonight as we realize that Christmas has the potential to be very sad for so many people. Thinking of you often.

    =), mel

  4. Sandy says:

    Wondering why Jesus needs so many children in Heaven and then saw this video. God is worthy of the perfection of a child’s praises. It brought tears to my eyes of the goodness of Jesus, and the wonder of children.

  5. Debbie Mc :) says:

    What a sweet video. I can’t imagine what it is like in Heaven to stand before God. I think about our two little ones doing that now and I am in awe. Christmas is so sweet down here. Can you imagine the glory in Heaven. I’m glad you are blogging again. You bring me and so many others hope for a joyous future amongst our sorrow. Thank you again for the effort and honesty you put into these blogs. Love ya,

  6. Kelly says:


    I just played your video of Judson to my boys, Noah-3, and Ethan- 1 and a half…their faces lit up and they began singing the song along with Judson. Noah said he was "so cute." the boys continue to sing that as they play outside the backyard. Your little man touched the lives of my little men today. Thank you for sharing your little man with us. He is so precious.

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