Judson's Legacy

Fresh Fear


I have never been a very anxious person.  I remember many years ago a friend who works in health care mentioned that most people are either prone to anxiety or depression.  Of course some struggle with both and some neither, but most tend one direction or the other.  Whether or not her statement is accurate, her assertion resonated with my own life; I have long been prone to depression, my heart easily apt to get discouraged, but have had little propensity toward fear or worry.

Depression continues to lurk at my door, but recently I have found anxiety knocking loudly too.  Fears have been running rampant in my mind: fears for Jessie, anxiety about our future, worry over our finances, apprehension over Judson’s book, concerns for Drake, and the list could go on and on.  I feel freshly vulnerable and afraid…anxious like I have never experienced before.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” – 1 Peter 5:7

I have had to newly engage this verse in Scripture that calls me to release all my cares to the Lord.  And as I meditate on this lofty call to let go of my fears, it is not the directive given in the first half of the verse that stands out to me, but rather, the reason provided for such.

Why am I called to cast all my anxiety on God?  Because he cares for me.  In fact, God’s love is the catalyst that enables me to fling myself into his arms, leaving every worry behind; banking on my Father’s care is foundational to being free of fear.

So what has lead to my experiences of anxiety lately?

When my heart begins to question his divine love, fears ensue.  I can release my crushing burdens far more easily when I am resting in the Lord’s complete care for me, when I am confident he is lovingly upholding me.  But when uncertainty arises, so does the worry.

Sadly, I sense recent cracks and fissures in the foundation of my trust in God’s love for me.  My unrest has stemmed from murmuring, unwelcomed voices creeping into my heart telling me that God is not concerned about me, that I have been forgotten by him.  Of course, my mind knows otherwise, but my heart is struggling to find the comfort that comes from digesting God’s love and knowing that he is intimately involved in the details of my life…that he cares deeply for me.  Past and current hurts leave me struggling to feel my Father’s care.

Oh heart of mine, do not forget God’s tender love, you need not doubt his care.  Even in the throes of hardship and moments when you feel unheard by him, let his truth and grace pour over you, remembering all he has done to uphold you in the darkness and shower you with love.   Cast your cares upon him!

5 Responses to "Fresh Fear"

  1. Danny says:

    C, What great words to wake up to this morning…grateful for you.dp

  2. Jenny says:

    Great reminders for many of us who are working through new seasons of anxiety and worry. Thanks for those words and for our chat the other evening. Continuing to pray for you guys!


  3. Angie Green says:

    Dear Christina,

    I can so relate and connect with your strong desire to "cast all your cares upon Him who cares for us" AND your hurting, mother’s/ human heart. Thank you for your honest heart and I pray that you will constantly be reminded of "God’s tender love" in those dark times.

    Yesterday, 1/10/10 marked 8 years since our Kevin died….8 years seem impossible, but when I multiply 8 years x 365 days of missing our son, many of those days are marked with doubt that was quickly and deeply replaced with grace and an increased sense of God’s love and desire to carry my cares on His shoulders, which He did most lovingly at the Cross.

    Bless you, as you continue on your journey through grief to the heart of God!

    Love in Christ, Angie, "a mom like you!"

  4. Tammy says:

    Natalie Grant – Held

    This makes me cry each time…but it’s all about the promise…no matter we will be held…

  5. Michal says:

    Dearest Christina,

    I so appreciate your wise words. I began memorizing that section of I Peter 5 many years ago and it’s blessed and informed me so many times. It gives my mind something life-giving and nurturing to dwell upon when my discouraged and anxious thoughts carry me far from the Truth. Yes, verse 7 (Living) says "Let Him have all your worries and cares for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you."

    Verse 8 goes on "Be careful–watch out for attacks from Satan, your great enemy. He prowls around like a hungry, roaring lion, looking for some victim to tear apart." I realize that I become double-minded when I fail to leave all my worries with Him. Therefore, I cannot be alert to satanic attacks. God is not the One who is trying to devour me. V.9: "Stand firm when he attacks. Trust the Lord; and remember that other Christians all around the world are going through these sufferings too." We are not unique in our suffering but telling us that we’re alone in our pain is one of Satan’s most effective lies. What do we expect from the deceiver, the liar, the accuser of the brethren who comes, even disguised as an angel of light to rob, kill, steal and destroy?

    I Peter 5:10-11 "After you’ve suffered a little while, our God, who is full of kindness through Christ, will give you His eternal glory. He personally will come and pick you up and set you firmly in place and make you stronger than ever. To Him be all power over all things forever and ever. Amen."

    Please try soaking in Psalm 139. I will join you.

    "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because he trusteth in Thee." Isaiah 26:3

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