I would describe myself as an emotional wreck the last couple weeks. I feel as though this gnawing sorrow is causing me to fray, like a rope that is falling apart, my grief has worn me thin. My edges are ragged and any little thing can cause my emotions to give way.
My soul is threadbare.
After a day of being frazzled and tattered from lament, feeling as though I have been unable to keep it together recently, Drake brought home a stack of cards with verses given to him by some friends from church. I decided to peruse the stack. This was the first card I read:
The previous verse in that Colossians passage describes how ALL things were created by Him, through Him, and for Him-everything! Therefore, the Lord holds it all together; even my life, my soul, and my world are upheld by Him.
This does not mean I won’t be in emotional turmoil. This does not mean I won’t be worn thin by my loss. This does not mean that I will never feel like I am falling apart. But it is a promise that God will sustain me and hold all things together, even when I am significantly frayed.
**Thanks Kim and John for the cards!
Oh dear Christina,
Of course you are frazzled. The expectations of Christmas have put another burden on you. Don’t let it pressure you. You don’t feel merry, although you rejoice in the Celebration of our Savior’s birth.
More than ever you need to lean on others. Let them/us help. If you feel compelled to do the usual shopping, don’t.
You may want to give something from Judson instead. A gift to a child at CHOC. Something that will say, we understand because of Judson.
His memory is alive in us. You have so graciously shared with us. Don’t stop. That is a gift we have received from you.
Thank you
Oh Christina~
Love your heart…first of all we just want to say this…you are just so precious to all of us!!!!! What a GIFT you have been for all of us who have been with you on your journey. Like Marilyn said, of course you are frazzled.You rest in the Lord…and let others help you.
We just love you so much!!!!!!!!!!
Jean and Gary
P.S.We’re heading back to Illinois tomorrow for Christmas…please pray for us as we travel.xoxoxoxoxo
Christina,
I am grateful that the "in Him all things hold together" verse in Colossians was timely. I am mindful of you as this season brings such torment. As I look at the faces of frantic shoppers everywhere they reflect a Loss that will, presumably, never ever be filled. They seem so consumed as to not even be aware they are but dust. Your loss, on the other hand, although so incredibly unfair and tangible will be made right and whole it just sucks so much right now.
I think of Judson a lot. His ability to communicate Biblical truth (Job) was profound in its simplicity. He certainly ministered to me though I hardly knew him. You know how much fun it is to receive Christmas cards and unwrap gifts over this Holiday . . . in eternity you will be tearing the paper off so many gifts of what Judson’s life did for and meant to so many people. Surprises await you!!
Merry Scary Fragmented Christmas to all of you!!
Kim