Judson's Legacy

Floating Silhouette


What is it about butterflies that capture my heart unlike any other creature?  Is it the intricate beauty?  Is it the idea that they have emerged from dark cocoon to new life?  Is it that they dance through the air with such grace?  Is it their peaceful silence as they fly?

I expect it is all of these things and more.

Every butterfly now reminds me of Jud.  For many who have lost a loved one, the butterfly seems to carry a special symbolism tying them to their beloved.  I have written many times about butterflies, but in the last couple days I have had two special encounters.

We attended a butterfly release this weekend in honor of families who have lost children.  However, unlike the people around us, when we slowly opened our box to free our butterfly, it actually sat on my hand for quite some time before it took flight.  It was an amazing experience to have an extended opportunity to hold this beautiful memorial for Judson before seeing it disappear.  And as it flew away, Jessie said over and over, “Fly to Jud!  Fly to Jud, little butterfly!  Fly to Jud!” and I imagined Judson might have been in heaven holding a butterfly similar to the one we’d just released.


Yesterday morning we took a trip to our local butterfly house and had a similar experience.  There was a monarch butterfly that climbed on my finger and then stayed with me the entire time we were there.  Strangely, it was almost as though it wanted to be near me.  This exhilarating encounter with the “painted lady” actually inspired the following poem from me.


Vibrant colors gleam with light
Dancing upon the sky
Silently fluttering into sight
Capturing my eye

Mesmerized by beauty true
In silence and in awe
I watch with only thoughts of you
Vulnerable and raw

The butterfly a sweet reflection
Of marvelous rebirth
Like the little boy with my affection
No longer bound by earth

My heart sees you in everything
But nothing greater yet
Than the creature with the painted wing
Like a floating silhouette





13 Responses to "Floating Silhouette"

  1. Marsha says:

    Amazing experiences of having been touched by this gentle, beautiful, tender creature who made its way to you to give you a short burst of unspeakable joy.
    Much like Judson.

  2. Laura Baesel says:

    Beautiful poem…

  3. Jean and Gary Butler says:

    Oh Christina~First of all,you are a beautiful lady…inside and out!!! You are just a pretty, sweet,wonderful mother as well as a role model to all of us…love your heart.
    Your poem is so sweet. Only you could have written it.
    Gary just said that butterfly could be a sign from God to reassure you that HE is taking good care of Jud. Gary also said… God has HIS ways. HE surely does.
    Thank you so much for sharing your poems, your pictures, and your heart with us.
    We love you so much!!!!!!
    Jean and Gary

  4. susan says:

    Wow, what an absolutely beautiful poem.

  5. Sandy Mitchell says:

    Hi Christina,

    What a beautiful poem-you are amazingly talented.
    Also, 2 butterflies surely seems to me a sign from the Heavens that both your Father and your son, Judson are in fact still with you and always around you! You are so loved!!!

    Lots of hugs,

  6. Beth says:

    Hi Christina, I love this website that you have for Judson! It is very special. I was curious about your Judson tattoo. Where did you get it done? I want to get one with my son’s name as well. Thanks, Beth

  7. Linda says:

    Beautiful, simply beautiful!

  8. danielle says:

    amazing experience, lev. thanks for sharing it.

  9. aunt sue says:

    Christina, what a beautiful poem! It is reflective of you. Keep pressing on . . . I love you. aunt Sue

  10. hh says:

    Wow! I echo everyone’s words, especially Marsha’s.

    I love you, my precious friend. I thank God for giving you this gift and joy the other day. He’s also given you the amazing gift of writing….your poem is breathtaking, just like that butterfly and just like your Judson.

  11. Rebekah says:

    What a beautiful post. I love the tatoo on your wrist, its wonderful. Your son was an amazing inspiration. Your daughter seems to be following in his footsteps. Im sorry for your loss. I am excited to follow your family through your blog and someday read sweet Judson’s book.



  12. Beatrice C. Parker says:

    Hello Christina,

    I read your blog regularly. This is the first time that I noticed the "comments" section.

    Your poem is so beautiful. I too love butterflies. I have a book for you that I have been meaning to somehow get to you. Tt is a work of fiction, but your situation with the loss of Jud just makes me think you might enjoy it. It is about the very special relationship between an elephant and his keeper. I bought it because it reminded me of my mom who particularly loved elephants. I will get it to you, hopefully someday soon.

  13. *wendy says:

    Butterflies and birds have reminded me of my mom since her passing. Friendly, tiny angelic, colorful reminders of freedom. She loved butterflies and birds. Her bird collection was beautiful but then one day she began to gift them to family and friends. Slowly her collection no longer sat on the mantle, but became a reminder of her kindred spirit to all those she gifted them to. She bought me a butterfly trinketbox that I still have today. When butterflies dance around me, I know she’s close by me. When my dad passed in 2000, I knew he came in spirit to lt me know he was with my mom. The night after his viewing, for some reason I was left alone in the house as my children and husband had went out. That was a very rare occasion. I sat in the kitchen in tears as I pondered on the days event with my dad. The wather wa oddly warm that night and I opened a window to allow a welcoming breeze. A melodic singing bird sang beautifully just outide my window. As I sat thee with my head resting on bent elbows, I listened intently to the most beautiful angelic bird chirping I have ever heard. I an’t even put it to words to subscribe. It seemed to last for hours. I felt my parents around me and knew it was a sign that they were together. Whether it be butterflies, birds, or a lovely scent. Our heavenly loved ones have a way to get our attention. Thank you so much for posting such lovely words. I can come here and feel refreshed when I close my browser. Always keeping you and your loved ones in my daily prayers.

    Love, *wendy

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