Judson's Legacy

Floating Confetti

Jessie and I have been frequenting the local Butterfly House at the Environmental Nature Center in our city.  I find myself mesmerized by these little creatures.  It is hard to believe they were once creepy crawly caterpillars, yet now they flutter effortlessly through the sky with grace and serenity.  Their delicate, colorful wings allowing them to silently soar through the air like confetti floating in the wind.

Since ancient times, the butterfly has been considered a symbol of the soul, so it is no surprise that in my heartache I’ve discovered this concentrated home of flitting beauty soothes my troubled spirit.  I am captivated by their exquisiteness as they dance in the breeze, imagining my life as carefree as they appear to be.

Yet, even butterflies have scars. 

I took many photos of these fragile organisms today, and as I scanned my pictures this evening, I discovered that one of the butterflies was missing parts of his wing.  I would have never known, seeing as it flew and functioned like all the other butterflies, but with a closer view, it was markedly disfigured.

I felt solidarity with this painted “American Lady”. 

I am profoundly marred by the loss of my sweet Judson, but the wounds of this butterfly give me hope that I, too, will fly again someday, soaring with grace and peace despite being deeply scarred.


5 Responses to "Floating Confetti"

  1. 43408 says:

    oooh- I like this analogy very much!

  2. 33871 says:

    Christina, you never cease to amaze me day after day with your sweet testimony! You have brought tears to my eyes once more with your beautiful gift of writing…and putting your every ounce of feeling into words for all the world to understand! I must thank you again, for helping so many of us grow in our walks alongside you!

  3. 34433 says:

    I can not imagine how many scars you have or how they would look. I look at Noah, Matt

  4. 36658 says:

    I also have always loved the butterfly but hadn’t realized that they are still flawed once they are butterflies. I’ve always focused on the fact that those beautiful creatures were once creepy crawling things that had to struggle and fight their way through a cocoon to become so beautiful. Without their struggle they wouldn’t be who they are. However you’ve shed new light on it for me pointing out the fact that although from a distance they seem so "perfect" they are in fact marred. Often we feel the need or pressure to appear perfect and we don’t want people to see the flaws.

  5. shannon says:

    Hi- you don’t know me, but I follow your blog regularly (since Jud’s diagnose). I’m sure you already know of this, but thought it might be fun for you and Jessie girl. There’s a site that you can buy and raise butterflys from when they are in the cocoon until they hatch and fly.


    My sons class did this and the kids LOVED it. Anyways, just a thought that ran across my mind when I saw this post. Take care…Thinkin of you and your family always.

    From one mommy to another,


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