How can this possibly be our reality?!!???
It seems as though, anytime now, Jud is going to be back with us: singin’ Christmas carols, chattin’ it up with me in the car, eatin’ in his high chair, jumpin’ at the park. I imagine him having just been on vacation for a month, and he will come running back into my embrace, arms open wide, with a huge smile on his face. I’m awaiting his return…
A return that will not occur in this lifetime.
Waiting a lifetime to see Jud feels impossible; this separation is piercing, over and over again. Is it true that Jud is really gone? How can that be? Just over 6 months ago my little boy was as vibrant as you would expect any 2 ½ year old to be. Now he is gone…forever? How can this be? What just hit us? I want my boy back so badly!!!!!
The finality of his death is still unreal to me.