Judson's Legacy

Fallin’ Apart


When Judson first died, I would regularly wake up in the morning with a song in my heart, replaying over and over in my mind.  These songs often spoke directly to my feelings at the time.  It has been quite some time since I have awoken with a song on my lips.

The other day I was listening to the local Christian radio station in my car and the music over the airways brought me to tears at it seemed to beautifully communicate my pain.  It was a somewhat familiar song, one I had heard before (though I did not know the artist), but it had never touched me in the same way.  Later that day I was having difficulty remembering any of the lyrics so I went on the website for that station hoping to find information that would help me track down the song, but to no avail.

I woke this morning singing that song:

I’m falling apart
I’m barely breathing
With a broken heart
That’s still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I’m holding on (I’m holdin on)(I’m holdin on)
I’m barely holding on to you

I’m hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
And I’m hanging on, to the words you say
You said that I will, will be okay
The broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
But I haven’t forgotten my way home

I’m falling apart
I’m barely breathing
With a broken heart
That’s still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
There is healing
In your name (In your name)
I find meaning
So I’m holding on (I’m still holdin’)(I’m holdin’ on)(I’m still holdin’) (I’m holdin’ on) (I’m still holdin’)
Barely holding on to you (I’m still holdin on)
Barely holdin on to you

It is called Broken by Lifehouse and as I am once again feeling like “I’m falling apart…I’m barely breathing,” it was meaningful to wake this morning with this beautiful song in my mind reminding me that it is “in [his] name…I find meaning.”




3 Responses to "Fallin’ Apart"

  1. Jean and Gary Butler says:

    Oh Christina~Love your heart!!! I so needed that song today….life is so hard…in so many ways.Let’s hold on to HIM together. I so love you my friend!!!!!!!!
    Jean (and Gary)

  2. shannon ely says:


    i can’t help but read your blog. your testimony for Gods love is amazing. thank you for sharing.

  3. christie jones says:

    I go to bed at nite.needing 2 listen loud with head phones on.when ive had maybe the hardest day of my life? Praying i have life left 2 enjoy.it calms my thoughts.thankful 4 everything.& a few tears.knowing hold on.tonorrow is a new day

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