I miss you. More and more, I can’t remember the fine details of life with you. I’ve forgotten so much. But my heart remembers and rejoices and weeps all at the same time, even if the details elude me. In your life, and now your death, you’ve left your mark on me, Juddy!
I wish you were here for our sake. But I’m glad you’re not for yours. And I’m so grateful that your suffering is over! But I miss you terribly! From the day I first heard of your coming, I was destined to love you for all of my life. I still am.
And so the tears come. They are an ever-present companion. How I wish it was different! I’d trade almost anything to see you again, to hold you, to hear your laugh, to smell your hair just for a few moments.
Instead, we have memories and videos and pictures. And we have a few of your possessions. Over time, my memory will sadly continue to fade, and perhaps my grief will diminish. But the embers of my heart will continue burn strongly for you, my son, until it ceases to beat and I am united with you again!
I love you and miss you!
With all of my heart,