This week, after I had an experience that triggered wretched memories of the trauma of Jud’s death, I sat down to write and process through my dark, suffocating feelings surrounding the circumstances. I came to the realization that nothing I was compiling in written word could ever be put in a blog or other published material.
Why?
Some of our experiences are too morbid, grotesque, or traumatic to be repeated publicly; it wouldn’t be prudent.
I began to resent the fact that we had to live through incidents that were so heinous that others should not even read about them. Yet, we actually had to experience and endure them, now struggling with the memories.
This made me angry.
So where do I direct my anger?
It grows my hatred for evil in this world. Satan is clearly roaming this earth to steal, kill, and destroy. He is looking to devour. After our experience, his existence is absolutely undeniable to me; I have seen his destruction firsthand.
And our family is certainly not alone in directly encountering indisputable evil. It is everywhere-often perpetrated by a vicious person, organization, or government. Every single person can point to evil in this world. Yet, I know many still deny the existence of Satan and do not attribute evil to the Devil himself. Rather, they believe it is simply a person, organization, or government that has gone awry.
However, the evil we experienced is without a face; it was not perpetrated by a vicious person, organization, or government. It was disease and death built into the very fabric of our son’s chromosomes. So who is responsible for marring creation?
Satan. He exists. He is real. He is the author of evil.
So when anger rises within me, I want to use my energies to pillage the gates of hell for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who is currently allowing Satan to roam free, but in the end will destroy the Evil One and all his loathsome deeds.