Judson's Legacy

Cries at Night


There have been a couple times recently when Jessie has uncommonly been crying out in the middle of the night.  She appears to be half asleep, but she is talking in between cries.

“I miss Juddy!”

“I want Juddy!”

“I love Juddy!”

I hear her repeat these phrases over and over.  And then she will slowly drift back to a deep sleep.

One cannot help but wonder what she is experiencing.  Is she dreaming about her brother?  Is it a nightmare but she perceives Judson could help her?  Has she simply made cries for Judson synonymous with any kind of struggle? 

I don’t know what is going on in the mind of my little munchkin, but I know the loss of her brother has had a deep and penetrating impact on her life that is even evident in her sleep.  Though she was very young when Jud died, I do not want to underestimate her loss and I hope to become more adept at appropriately grieving with her.  Meanwhile, I echo her sentiments.

“I miss Juddy!”

“I want Juddy!”

“I love Juddy!”


3 Responses to "Cries at Night"

  1. Rebekah says:

    I think our little ones "get" more than we realize… Jessie can’t help knowing that Jud is missing, and it must be bittersweet for you to see her longing for him too.

    Last night I dreamed that I was considering climbing a mountain that had a particularly meaningful event associated with it. In my dream, I determined that if I ever made it to the top, I would leave a note and memorial in Jud’s honor.

    Interesting how dreams have a way of expressing the things that are close to our hearts…

  2. Jean and Gary Butler says:

    Love her little heart….please give Jessie hugs for us.Somewhere in her little heart….she remembers.
    Love you all so much~
    Jean and Gary

  3. Sandy Mitchell says:

    Poor little lady bug! She is so very sweet and it breaks my heart to think of her grieving her sweet brother. Lots of love and hugs to you all.
    I have no doubt that you are and will continue to help Jessie in her grieving, Christina. You are a wonderful mother. Jud and Jessie are truly blessed to have you as their mom.

    I know Judson is loving you all from heaven.


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