Over dinner with some friends this evening, the question was asked, “Do you feel hopeful for the coming year?”

My response was, “I can’t even go there!”

I am so broken and bleeding that the thought of being hopeful in my grief feels completely outside the realm of possibility.

But as I sat there, hearing other people share, I began to ask myself, “What is the catalyst for hope?”

If hope is based on the future possibility of tangible things like financial security, health, or a pain-free existence, then my deep and profound brokenness leaves no room for hope.  But if hope is based on the  grace of our Loving Father, and the knowledge that each breath leads us closer to eternity with Him, then I have more reason to hope than most-not only do I have the hope that springs from the promises of God, but I also have a little boy who has experienced the reality of this hope.  What remains hope for us now, has been fulfilled for Judson.

Therefore, true hope can coincide with grief.  In fact, true hope is the only thing really giving meaning to my grief.

So, “Am I hopeful for the coming year with regard to what it holds for our family?”  Only in so much as my lamentations draw me deeper into relationship with the One who is Hope.