I was talking to a friend yesterday who has experienced a multiplicity of very harsh circumstances in her life over the last few years and has recently been clobbered with more heartache. Behind tears she cautiously described how she sometimes feels like Satan is fighting harder for her life than her Heavenly Father.
These words struck a chord with me and seemed to aptly describe how I often feel in the spiritual battle for my own mind and heart. There have been various circumstances in the last two years (most of which I have chosen not to disclose in my blog) that have made me feel as though the challenges are being heaped on after losing Judson, often leaving me wondering where God is and what happened to his protective hand in our life. Why does it feel like we are relentlessly being attacked? Is God allowing the enemy a free-for-all? Why has He not intervened to thwart the on-going strife? What is the point of all this heartache if I end up so completely broken that I retreat, internally and externally, rendering myself useless for the Kingdom? How much can a person take before they surrender to the aggressor in hopes that the pain will relent?
The truth, written in my heart, consistently seems to override all these questions, and I am reminded that although the principalities of darkness are at work in this world, seeking to devour us, the price for my life has already been paid. And though frankly, at times, like my friend, I wonder whether I will be devoured—seared into my soul, and hers, is an understanding that the victory for our lives has already been won. No matter how hard Satan fights, he will never be victorious…we can be broken but we will not be destroyed!
Even though we have been surrounded and battered by troubles, we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we will not be destroyed.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9 (The Message)
Thank you for that entry. That really struck a key with me. I always appreciate your honesty and openness! (Also the reminder that GOD is on OUR Side!!)
Thank you dear friend. I love that I can be honest with you and you are never shocked. We serve an awesome God- thank you for reminding me of that price that was paid for us and we are ever victorious. Maybe we are just extra special! I’m sure that is it!!
Amen and amen! Your faith is a beautiful thing to see, Christina!
I typed a wonderful message about God and suffering but He decided to cause it to erase upon submission. Let me just say this, God you have some explaining to do.
Oh yeah, and when my children are hurting I’ll be sure and NOT use your example. I actually want my kids to know that I am there for them.
Enjoy the Journey.
At my very lowest points I have often placed my life in the category of "nothing but a big, cosmic joke." If I hadn’t lived my life I wouldn’t believe it if someone told me the story. But I keep holding onto God’s promises, and knowing that I will never be ashamed in doing so because our God is faithful. Soon and very soon…
Love,
Dorci
There is something to be said about honesty in the Christian journey and you have touched on those areas very eloquently, and many may not admit to these struggles that we all go through. I have been very angry with God at times in my life and I wanted Him to know how I was really feeling. I didn’t want to hide it. He could see through the mask anyways. It was by being honest with Him that I truly felt his presence and that I quickly learned that He was definitely there. I remember you saying about Judson that the disease took everything but his smile. Well the devil can take everything from us but He can’t take our soul. Amen to both!
There are no explanations sometimes, no answers. I remember leaving work one day and went into this church just to sit at one of the pews. I sat there in prayer for several minutes and found myself opening up the bible sitting in front of me. The first words I saw were, "Be still and know that I am God"…sometimes we just have to be still…hard to do…but sometimes necessary.
This entry described something I feel too – – that the enemy seems to be fighting harder for my life than God. But as my counselor says, feelings are not fact. God brought the verse to my mind recently when I was feeling beat down from John 16:33. "In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." The battle really has been won. I praise you God for victory!!