Judson's Legacy

Broken

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Dear Judson,

I love you so much.  I’m so proud of you.  I miss you.

I have such a deep reservoir of love for you.  Even though you’ve left, you have an abiding place in my heart-and you will hold greater sway during my life than anyone I’ve known because you died long before any father would expect.  It doesn’t hurt that you are such a kind, precious, brilliant boy.

Because my love for you is so deep, my grief at your loss is, too.  I am broken.  I don’t know how this will change through the years or how much better I will learn to hold up under it.  But I embrace the reality that I will carry this deep brokenness the rest of my days.

As hard as it is to carry, I am content to do so.  You are such a treasure, my only son, irreplaceable!  And worth every single tear!

Perhaps my brokenness will bear good fruit.  If it gives me greater compassion for others, I will be grateful.  And because I lost you, every day I’m reminded that this earth is not heaven, and I yearn for my true and lasting home more than I ever have before.

It’s great comfort to know that I will see you there.  But it couldn’t be soon enough!

With all my love,
Daddy

 

4 Responses to "Broken"

  1. Arlene Pellicane says:

    Drake,
    Thinking of you and your family tonight. We pray this Thanksgiving God would hold you up and comfort you when needed, cheer you at other times, and fill you with the hope of heaven and being together with Jud again. What a remarkable young boy, what a legacy of love he left in such a short time. You and Christina were AMAZING parents to him.

  2. Jean and Gary Butler says:

    Dear Drake~
    You are an amazing, tender, astonishing man…how blessed Jud was to have had YOU (if even for a short time)as a dad. What a lucky little boy. We’re just sure that Jud has told Jesus so much about his mommy and daddy…and of course….Jessie girl….love her heart. May you find comfort in knowing what YOU gave to Jud. There are some little boys who will never have a father like you.God knew exactly what HE was doing when HE gave Jud to you and Christina….if even for just a brief time. Never forget what YOU gave Jud….love your heart.
    Much Love…your FOREVER friends~
    Jean (and Gary)

  3. Allyson Stevenson says:

    Drake,
    Time and time again, your love that you describe for your precious son Judson remindes me of the love that Our Father bestows upon us, His children. Rest sweetly knowing your best interests, your cares and your woes are those also of our Father’s…as you are His son, and loved and cared for ever so deeply.

    Lord, I pray that you would reach down to this broken man… this father, husband and friend…that You would hold him tightly in your grip, that You would touch his tender and brittle heart. I pray that in his weakest moments , you would be the ever flowing fountain of strength…providing the exact portion that Drake may need for that moment. I pray that you would guide him, as he is the headship to his mourning family…Help him to always seek your ways, remaining faithful to your Word. I thank you, dear Father, for being the Shepherd to Your flock, a flock that at times needs more tender loving care than is immeasureable. Thank you for Your Son, His death, and the promise of our eternal life with you, as believers. I pray that it would be this Promise that holds the Levasheff family steadfast. Thank you that they know You, and are raising children to know You as well. Thank You dear Father that they will see their son again, for eternity. In Your Precious Name I pray these things, Amen.

  4. Rebekah says:

    Drake,

    Your words make me reflect on how having children is a privilege and a risk greater than almost anything else in life.

    Until you’ve "been there" it’s impossible to describe the blessings that come from being a parent. Or to understand the fear of what losing that child would mean.

    Likewise, I’m sure it’s absolutely impossible to grasp the pain of losing a child without having experienced it…

    I cannot begin to imagine living in the heartbreak that you must endure day-by-day.

    What an honor to be Jud’s daddy and to have such a special relationship with such a unique and wonderful person as your son. You are Jud’s only daddy, and while your grief as his dad is a burden only you can experience, the joy of being his dad is something that is also your unique experience.

    I know that Jud has been truly blessed to have you for a dad, and I can’t wait to see you two reunited!!

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