Judson's Legacy

Blocked Gateways


We had a day of filming for the documentary last weekend and as I sat down to have my intimate thoughts about Judson recorded, I was stunned by the waterfall of tears that abruptly sprung from my eyes before even opening my mouth to speak.  A dam ruptured.

Sadly, it seems over time, for various reasons, some of my outlets for expressing grief have become clogged, slowly creating blockades that permit access to certain feelings.  So when permission was given to open the blocked gateways to my heartache, the emotions forcefully cascaded from the easily obstructed portals. 

I was reminded how vital it is to have regular channels for expressing my ever-present sorrow.  And although I was bashful about gushing in that context, allowing my deep well of heartache to newly spill open felt healthy and refreshing.

3 Responses to "Blocked Gateways"

  1. Sarah White says:

    christiana i have talked to you on facebook and i wanted to say im deeply sorry and that juds story has inspire dme i wrote many papers on judspn and your familys fight thank you so much for sharing God Bless

  2. Robyn Morton says:

    Christina, I hope you will always remember that I am here as an open gateway, willing to share in your grief and let you express any emotion you feel. No permission is necessary! Loving you and keeping you in my prayers. Love and blessings, Robyn

  3. Freya Remmer says:

    Hi Christina,

    I commented the other day on your March 2nd entry about the sad person who wrote "your life sucks" on your internet article… I think I’m just going to become a regular follower of your blog because I’m so inspired and encouraged to follow the Lord by you, in spite of heartache.

    (I’ve re-read that March 2nd entry several times this past week, by the way… again, in the midst of my own heartache, your perspective has helped me to keep my eyes on Jesus and His perspective).

    I’m sorry for your grief. I can’t even imagine. I’m so sorry. There’s nothing that can fix it, either… that’s what’s so horrible. I’ll pray that the God of all comfort comes to you continually as you walk through this difficult, difficult, difficult situation.

    Thanks for pressing in,


    P.S. Is your husband still a professor at Vanguard, I’m wondering? I’m a Vanguard grad and I worked as an RD there as well…

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