Judson's Legacy

Blanket of Comfort


It was around the age of one when we decided to wean Judson from his pacifier by poking holes in the end.  In an effort to provide a substitute item of comfort, I went to the fabric store and selected a nice, masculine-looking fleece and proceeded to lovingly make multiple blankets for Jud by cutting and tying a knotted fringe around the edge of the soft, navy blue cloth accented with basketballs.  I believe I made six total blankets, one of them handkerchief-sized for traveling convenience.

Judson swiftly took to his new blankets with the Linus-factor quickly kicking in; the pacifiers were easily forgotten and the substitution was a success.  We made one blanket available at a time, and eventually limited his use to naptime and bedtime.

I recall one afternoon, before we moved to our current home (so Judson must have been less than 17 months old), I randomly offered him two of the blankets to sleep with instead of one, revealing the secret that we had multiples of his beloved comfort-fleece.  His face lit-up as he declared, “Two!” with extreme enthusiasm.  From that day forward, Judson requested to sleep with two blankets and soon developed a system for his basketball coverlets.  He would curl up, throwing one of them over his back for warmth and security (even in hot weather), and then clutch the other in his arms, snuggling it close.

Judson cherished his blankets.

As I was looking through the pictures in Judson’s book, I realized that after he began to suffer, he had one of his blankets with him almost constantly; they served as a source of familiarity and security when faced with so much unknown, especially in his blindness.  In many of the pictures after Krabbe began to overtake his body, his blanket is either prominently displayed or, to the knowing observer, a corner visible.  These pieces of cloth that I had intended to simply ease the transition of the pacifier became a hugely significant part of Judson’s little life, symbolizing comfort in chaos and suffering.

When I originally made six blankies, it seemed a little excessive (I had purchased too much fabric and rather than having it sit in a drawer, decided to use it all).  Now I find myself incredibly grateful we had so many.  Judson was buried with one blanket in the crook of his arm, we gave one to our friend John at the time of his death, one was incorporated into Jud’s clothing quilt (thank you Emily!), Jessie has one in her room that she periodically sleeps with, and the other two have become my comfort in chaos and suffering.

Now I cherish his blankets.




7 Responses to "Blanket of Comfort"

  1. Rebekah says:

    This post and photo deeply moved me. I can only imagine how much you must cherish these tangible pieces of Jud’s life.

    Waiting with you for the day of reunion…

  2. susan says:

    What a neat story. God knew how precious these 6 blankets would become (though they seemed excessive to you at first) …. that they would be such a sweet comfort to different people after Judson went Home. What a sweet small mercy.

  3. hh says:

    Oh, Christina! I have tears right now as I’ve just read this post and "Splintered by Separation"….I don’t know how else to describe it, but my heart continues to ache so much for you, Drake, Jessie, grandparents, all who knew and loved Judson while he was on earth and miss him terribly, that I feel physically sick as I continue to grieve with you from a distance…this is how I feel when I read the heart-wrenching words from your mother’s heart and see your precious but painful photos.

    I love you so much. We love all of you and continue to pray for you and watch videos of Jud and Jessie–my boys still request them whenever they see me on the computer. So we see your beautiful family just about every day! Thinking of you especially tomorrow as I know how much you’ll miss your Jud.

    All my love and prayers,
    Heather (and family)

  4. Lora says:

    I’m tearing up reading this latest post as I so often do when reading your posts, Christina. What a special and precious boy Judson was. I look forward to meeting him one day when we are all together with no more pain or suffering in the presence of our Heavenly Father. Sending prayers and huge ((HUGS))!!!


  5. Michal says:

    Christina, you are SUCH a great mom! How fortuitous that you made multiple blankies. Another mom was making her bed and her two little girls were jumping off onto the bedding with the cry "let’s JUMP into the Holy Spirit!" Jesus SAID He’d send another "COMFORTER."

    I have a blog friend who is hospitalized right now and she’s very partial to a "weighted blanket." These are very soothing to people with a variety of emotional needs. Today, I wrote: "I pray for you especially in the night. I pray that the Comforter, the "weighted blanket" of the Holy Spirit wraps you up in His security with a warm, healing touch.

    (((May Heavenly hugs tuck you in and help you feel safe.)))

    Christina, I know you provided every possible comfort to your beautiful boy just as you continue to do for Jessie Girl. Again, you are such a wonderful mom. I hope his blankets ("Two!") comfort you now.

    Thanks for inviting me to share and care.

    Love in Christ, Michal

    John 14:25-27 (Amplified Bible)

    25 have told you these things while I am still with you.

    26 But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you.

    27 Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]

  6. Sandy Mitchell says:

    Me too…I’m crying! My heart hurts for all that little Jud went through and all that your family continues to go through without him. Oh how much greater the tears of joy will be when you are all together again. In the meantime, I pray for a lifetime of blankets of comfort.


  7. Kristen Victor says:

    This story has brought more tears to my eyes than usual. I always cry when I read your stories, even the happy ones! This time around is especially poignant because my little boy has recently shown an attachment to a blanket when he sleeps. Now I wonder if I should go out and get more!

    Jud is such a blessed little guy to have a Mommy as wonderful and loving as you!

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