“It’s too much, God! It’s just too much! Why would you allow so much suffering to ravage one family?!” These guttural cries arose from my little brown couch in my living room last night.
But this pain has nothing to do with me…other than trying to understand this God I love and serve; my heart is deeply broken for my friends who are enduring unimaginable suffering as their family is torn apart by disease.
Steven and Nicole Aldrian live just over an hour from us and we have grown to love them deeply as part of our leukodystrophy family; we’ve shared many sweet moments of life together. Not only do Steve and Nicole have a son Trevor who lives with full disability and the impending death-sentence of Krabbe disease, but Nicole is currently battling a recurrence of triple-negative breast cancer that is aggressively ravaging her lungs, brain, and spine; she is now facing her own mortality.
As one can imagine, Steve’s world is being torn apart as he cares for both his wife and son while they simultaneously face life-threatening situations; not to mention also caring for their 5-year-old son Tyler (Trevor’s fraternal twin) who is trying to make sense of all that is happening around him.
It is unfathomable. The pain and brokenness hitting their family all at once is absolutely beyond comprehension to me.
As I visited with them a couple weeks ago—rubbing Nicole’s sock-covered feet as she lay in her chair, visibly impacted by the cancer—I felt my own helplessness and powerlessness in their home; my questions were boundless. What are you doing, God? Where are you? Why are you allowing this? Why won’t you intervene?
I’ve been wrestling with God so much over their situation, shedding numerous tears for their family. My only solace comes from embracing Jesus’ suffering; He suffered unimaginable pain and sorrow. He cried out for God to remove his suffering. He felt forsaken by God. And yet He still chose to absorb the penalty of my sin and death. And then He conquered it!
Only by what was accomplished on the cross do I find hope. So that’s where I lay the brokenness and my many, many questions…at the foot of the cross.
**Please join us in praying for the Aldrian family! #LoveForTheAldrians
Christina,
Thank you for sharing the Aldrian’s story with us and giving us the privilege of joining with you in prayer for their healing, comfort and peace. You have expressed our heart-felt questioning beautifully … Jesus we trust in you. The Lord’s Peace be with you,
Christina, I struggle daily, trying to comprehend why God is allowing this to happen to Nicole…. what good could possibly come from the suffering and anguish that this family is enduring…… and then I remember God’s promise to never forsake us & that all things are made good through Him. I pray daily for Steve & Nicole & the boys, asking God to hold them close & pour his strength into their hearts.
You just called sobbing so hard. You said Nicole and family had been on your mind all night and thrn you just heard that Nicole passed away in the early morning. I cry with you because it is so inconceivable that someone so bright and vibrant as Nicole is no longer with us here on earth, leaving her husband to care for their twins, one of whom has a terminal disease. Without an eternal perspective, this is incomprehensible. My heart breaks to think of the agony Steve must feel at the present time. There are no trite answers. It causes us to wrestle with God, Who is He and what are His purposes here on earth? There is so much pain and injustice in this world. Jesus claimed to be God, and He told us to trust in Him and to lay up our treasures in heaven. I don’t fully understand it, but I can only put my hope in Him and in His resurrection. Lord, please hold Steve and the boys close and reveal Yourself to all of us as we struggle to make sense of it all.
I so wish I could understand too, Christina. So, so much. Praying for Nicole's family and for you.
Praying for each one of you both families