Judson's Legacy

A Lament

O Lord, the universe shouts of Your existence.
Nature calls forth Your essence.
All creation groans for You, its Maker.

Who am I that You should be mindful of me?

Your love is known to me,
Your faithfulness proven,
Your grace encountered.

Yet, despite my genuine experience of You, I struggle.

O lord, You see my heart,
It cannot be hidden from You.
But I am having a hard time seeing Yours.
Where are You?

You had the power to heal my Judson.
You did not.

Am I not to be crest-fallen?
Is disappointment not the natural outcome?
Am I not to be crushed?
Are confusion and frustration not to be expected?

I came to You as my Father.
I asked for a fish.
It feels like You gave me a scorpion.

Must I receive Jud’s death as a “good gift?”
How can it be?

Where are You, O my God, my Father?

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