I had the chance to get away by myself for a day this week and retreated to the beach. I found a nice little spot on one of the Ventura jetties and settled in for a couple hours on a flat, comfortable rock with my blanket, journal, pen, and coffee.
On this beautiful day, with not a cloud in the sky, I spent much of my time simply gazing at the surf, listening to the crashing waves, and smelling the salty sea – each deep breath serving as a reminder that I am indeed alive. Thoughts about my struggles, sorrows, joys, and hopes floated in and out of my mind. Most significantly, I was reminded of my smallness in light of the Lord’s greatness.
This led me to journal recklessly, purging every tweaked, sinful, outrageous, prideful, ego-stricken thought shamelessly onto the page. I held nothing back from the One who already knows the ins and outs of my soul. God and I conversed; we discussed my struggles, my drives and desires in light of His purpose, my lack of understanding His ways, my deep pain, and the new temptations for self-pity, jealousy, and vain conceit that have arisen out of this affliction. I held nothing back while crying out desperately for a glimpse of Him.
There were a handful of people nearby who might have noticed the unrelenting tears that glided down my face, but I felt as though I was alone in this vast expanse of land and sea. I became oblivious to those around me…
Except for one little creature…
A beautiful, shimmering, blue dragonfly was continuously circling nearby. He NEVER left my presence the ENTIRE time I was sitting on the jetty.
I was reminded of the Dragonfly Story and it dawned on me that this little insect was all the glimpse of God I needed for the day. It also served as a reminder that the Lord will be faithful to show Himself to me in due time.