Judson's Legacy

A Glimpse

I had the chance to get away by myself for a day this week and retreated to the beach.  I found a nice little spot on one of the Ventura jetties and settled in for a couple hours on a flat, comfortable rock with my blanket, journal, pen, and coffee.

On this beautiful day, with not a cloud in the sky, I spent much of my time simply gazing at the surf, listening to the crashing waves, and smelling the salty sea – each deep breath serving as a reminder that I am indeed alive.  Thoughts about my struggles, sorrows, joys, and hopes floated in and out of my mind.  Most significantly, I was reminded of my smallness in light of the Lord’s greatness.

This led me to journal recklessly, purging every tweaked, sinful, outrageous, prideful, ego-stricken thought shamelessly onto the page.  I held nothing back from the One who already knows the ins and outs of my soul.  God and I conversed; we discussed my struggles, my drives and desires in light of His purpose, my lack of understanding His ways, my deep pain, and the new temptations for self-pity, jealousy, and vain conceit that have arisen out of this affliction. I held nothing back while crying out desperately for a glimpse of Him.

There were a handful of people nearby who might have noticed the unrelenting tears that glided down my face, but I felt as though I was alone in this vast expanse of land and sea.  I became oblivious to those around me…

Except for one little creature…

A beautiful, shimmering, blue dragonfly was continuously circling nearby.  He NEVER left my presence the ENTIRE time I was sitting on the jetty.

I was reminded of the Dragonfly Story and it dawned on me that this little insect was all the glimpse of God I needed for the day.  It also served as a reminder that the Lord will be faithful to show Himself to me in due time.



2 Responses to "A Glimpse"

  1. 33817 says:

    Ohhhh…..there’s that dragon fly again! So beautiful! It IS a sign ..God is walking with you and so is your little buddy JUD BUD…
    Glad you got a day to yourself ..to take care OF yourself..Vince …dad of Vincie forever 17 months

  2. 34666 says:

    I am sitting here, yet again, with tears for you and your little Judson. Each new picture of him breaking my heart again. I know I never knew Jud, but I feel a connection to him and to you through this similar journey we travel. I feel your hurt with each entry of your grieving thoughts. While I cannot yet fathom losing my little girl, the reality of her illness hits me like a ton of bricks every single day, and so I can say, I too feel that horrible pain of watching your child suffer and having no way of protecting them from the pain. I just want you to know, I am here, if ever you need a listening ear. I can cry and grieve along with you and I do all the time. Just know you have a friend out here…


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