Dear Reader…
Amazingly, this is my 500th post since Judson’s death…and the timing is especially apropos considering today, December 1st, is the official release date for his book Eyes that See: Judson’s Story of Hope in Suffering (okay, you figured me out, I waited to post my 500th until today). Eyes that See is now available exclusively on this site until April 6, 2010, at which time it will be available for purchase in bookstores everywhere.
Some of you may have been readers of my blog prior to Judson’s death and others of you may have just discovered No Artificial Colors or Flavors within the last month, but either way, I am incredibly grateful that you have been willing to walk this Journey Toward Wholeness with me.
Over the last two years I have had people ask me whether my blog is simply about my life as a grieving mother. And although my grief has obviously been the most prominent aspect of my writing since losing Jud, my intent is much broader. Therefore, I thought my 500th post might be a great occasion to bring definition to the purpose of my writing.
With each blog I long to offer a vulnerable and candid glimpse into a personal journey grappling with the challenges of faith and life in a broken, painful world. It is my desire to be real and authentic about my thoughts and feelings as I struggle to honor and trust God in my everyday experiences of life. For this reason, much of what compels me to write are the difficult issues that stir my soul, the jagged edges, the pangs and pains of living, which are influenced by many things including being forever shaped by the death of my Judson. Meanwhile, whether directly or indirectly, I wish for my writing to reflect the One True Hope I have found as I deal with the tensions in my soul and my observations in this world.
In many ways, these are my personal journals, made public…which has involved risk. But it has been an intentional and calculated risk and I have felt compelled to write. Though there may be times my thoughts are misinterpreted, misconstrued, or even criticized (which is par for the course), I have also been given a great and unexpected gift through the process – I have received tremendous love, support, encouragement, and blessing from people. So today, I want to take the opportunity to speak directly to you, my reader, and thank you for electronically walking through this journey of life with me.
So in appreciation for your support and in honor of Judson and the release of his book, I would like to give away two copies of Eyes that See. Simply post your name in the comments section of my blog and next Monday, Dec. 7th, I will randomly draw the name of two people whom I will send a free copy. I will post the names of those recipients next Tuesday.
Cannot thank you enough,
Christina
P.S. My 500th post seemed a fitting time to change the color of my blog. What do you think?
P.P.S. Please take a moment to look around storyofjudson.com as it has been newly upgraded and much new content has been added, including information about our ministry Judson’s Legacy.
I actually received my copy of Eyes That See in the mail today. If my name is drawn I will pass my 2nd copy on to a friend in need.
I am thrilled and honored to read Jud’s book! May it change lives, Christina!!!!
(I think this is so long that I’ll have to send a second part below.) BTW, I’ve already pre-ordered the book but would give a second copy to someone who needs it. That wasn’t my motivation in commenting.)
Once again, Christina, your comments are wise and beautifully stated. I will recommend them to another blog friend who struggles with a severe chronic illness. I just wrote to her today about the "broken" planet and hope she understands my meaning. I also recommended that she cry out to the Lord with the freely expressed anger and anguish of David in the Psalms.
I’m happy that the new color of the blog portends more growth as you are tended in the garden of the Lord. When you wrote your prior post "Sweet Aroma," I had intended to tell you that a beautiful fragrance filled my mother’s hospital room in the final hours of her life. My girlfriend checked and said it was only in Mom’s room and about 8 feet up the hall. Later, I went up the same hall and responded to the call of a woman in pain. As I rushed to her bedside, I said "Oh the Lord doesn’t want us to suffer! May I pray for you?" She said "Yes." When I concluded a prayer for her relief and comfort, she asked "Who IS this "Jesus?" I replied "He’s the Son of God, the Savior." She said "Oh, I don’t believe in THAT." I said "He’s not "THAT!" He’s a person! I know Him." She asked "Why are you here?" I replied "My mother is dying in the next room." I’d been told the lady had a brain tumor which her children had elected not to tell her but she said "I’m an old lady and I’m dying, too."
I said "But if you knew Jesus you would never die! He came to bring us everlasting life! You wouldn’t be old. You would be SO YOUNG. You would be born again and you would step into His presence. Would you like to pray with me?" She said yes. She started to pray but soon asked me to guide her. She repeated something like "Jesus, I’m a sinner. You died on the cross and paid the price for my sins and have forgiven me completely. I ask you to come into my heart now and welcome me to live with You forever in Heaven. Amen." Incredibly, this dear lady opened her eyes and said "He died for me. I die for Him." The nurse arrived at that point and that was the end of our Divine Appointment! I’m confident that someone had prayed for her for years; I was ushered into her room by the sweet fragrance of the Holy Spirit but not as "almighty Michal."
(to be continued below.)
I later learned the lady’s name. When my aunt arrived at the hospital, she greeted the lady’s husband who had been her teaching colleague. The next arrival was a life-long friend who reminded the husband that she had known the couple as patrons of a shop where she worked for many years. As I made calls to alert family we were in my mother’s final hours, the lady’s young adult children arrived in the family lounge. I looked up and said "I wanted to let you know that I prayed with your mother last night." I suddenly felt a caution in my spirit. I asked quietly "Are you a Christian family?" With crossed arms one of them replied firmly "We’re JEWISH!" (I’d been reading Romans all week as I lived in my mother’s bed.) I’ve never seen the family again although I met the husband’s retired teacher friends at my aunt’s Christmas party. I was able to witness to them as I re-told the story.
Later, when my bereaved Dad first returned to the bedroom he’d shared with the love of his life since babyhood, he asked that the fragrance come to him. He said: "The room became still and then more still. The fragrance filled the room and then it faded away."
I know that the Lord opens our eyes and ears…but I’ve been praying that He would open my nose as well.
Ps. 25:10 "And when we obey Him, every path He guides us on is fragrant with His lovingkindness and His truth."
2 Corinthians 2:14-16
Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life."
"No artificial colors, flavors or FRAGRANCES." Thank you for your lovely post about fragrance. I loved your description about your sweet friend and look forward to becoming such a loving and wise lady.
In Him, Michal
Marissa Shilling
Thank you Christina for sharing your heart with us in these blogs.
Lots of love to you!
I know you don’t know, but I found your original blog just days before Grey died. I was up hours reading your posts for any glimpse as to how my son’s life might also end. Oddly, it was a comfort to me. Can’t wait for the book. I think of you often.
Beautiful writings….beautiful little boy….beautiful mother
Hugs,
Ann Dentlinger
So hard to believe that it has been two years. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Judson. He will always have a very special place in my heart. I love him so much.
Your courage to be so vulnerable to everyone is admirable. I read each blog and inevitably cry at almost everyone. I look forward to reading the book and having it in my home. (It has already shipped to me) I am proud of you and to know you. Thank you for sharing. God’s love and presence in your life is evident in everything you do!
Still reading your blog and still praying for you and your family, Christina.
Oh, and I like the new color!
Thank you Christina for your sincere words written in these 5oo blog posts!!! My book has been shipped three days ago, I can’t wait to receive it!!! But if my name is picked to have a free copy I will give it to a friend who will surely be touched by Jud’s eyes!
Let me tell you that I like the new website very much!!! I watched Jud’s videos I haven’t seen before and they made me smile as well as cry. What an incredible gift of boy you have in Heaven Christina!!!!
With all my love,
Samanta Negri.
I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy of the book. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, your readers. Congratulations on the book.
Misti Dunlap
New Braunfels, TX
Hey Christina, I\’ll definitely be getting a copy, just even to have that cover picture of Jud close by… Thank you for sharing 500 very personal, painful and beautiful revelations with us all xo Catherine
Christina, still praying for you
Christina, I have greatly appreciated the fact that you and Drake have shared this journey with us. I have been challenged in my faith and encouraged by many of your posts. Thank you! Bonnie K.
Daryl Caudill 🙂
I’m looking forward to reading your book. You are such a great communicator. Your healing is helping me heal.
Stephanie Kroeker
God bless you and your family through this journey!
I am so looking forward to reading your book . I have been following Judson’s story from the beginning of your blog
I can’t wait to read Judson’s book! If it compares, at all, to the journals in your blog, it will be amazingly inspirational. Thank you for sharing your family’s story!
~ Jena Jurkiewicz ~
LOVE the green background, but then again, green is my favorite color. LOVE it.
Your posts are amazing, Christina. They inspire, spur, encourage and comfort me all at the same time.
Kristy
Hey Christina,
I have SO enjoyed walking part of your journey with you! Until about a year ago, I think grief was something I psychologically tried to understand but had never experienced before. Your writings and expressions gave me hope as I faced my FIRST true moment in grief last year, and I held tight to your hope, words, inspirations. Thank you.
I think we need to be thanking you. I love the green. You have blessed thousands and thousands of people. You are amazing.
I actually pre-ordered your book, but would gladly accept a free copy! I would give it as a gift. Thank you for sharing your precious Jud with all of us. He truly touched my life. God bless you and your family Christina. I look forward to reading this amazing book.
I’m Jaden Del Taylor’s Great Aunt Tammy. My fiancee and I have a book on the way to us but I would like to be able to gift a book to my minister. His name is Jud also. Hopefully I will be one of the names drawn. Thanks again Christina…especially for your friendship with Lisa.
Christina,
I can?t believe you?ve reached 500 posts already! The honesty and openness with which you write has been an enormous continued blessing in my life. I cannot thank you enough for allowing us the opportunity to follow along with you in your grief and on your path to healing.
I can still remember the day when I first stumbled across Judson’s "Flag song" video on Youtube. Even at only 17, I remember having been so impressed and captivated by your son’s intellect, character and charm…and those eyes. 🙂 I prayed for your family as the test results came and my heart broke with yours as Jud began to succumb to that wretched disease. At the time, life wasn’t great for me; my parents had just gone through a long and stressful divorce and everything around me seemed to be crumbling. I became consistently more apathetic and cynical in my faith and life and was rapidly mastering the "woe is me" game.
Jud quickly taught me to suck it up and end my pity party. Your son?s constant hope and faith was an inspiration and a wake up call; the vision of his life and suffering loudly reminded me to appreciate each day. In his sickness, he became my 2-year-old daily reminder that, even amid suffering and impending death, God is still good, all the time. Though I never knew him, I am reminded of your son daily?what a special guy.
I am sure that Jud’s book will be a help and encouragement to many people; I am so excited to read it!
Thanks again!
~Ashley Hall
p.s. A boys choir that I am very fond of sings a song that reminds me of Jud each time I hear it. I thought I?d share with you the link:
What a sweet thing to do! Thank you for your blog and sharing your personal journey with the world for the past two and a half years. I have come to think of you as a friend and love your family, I would love to one day meet you all face to face!
God bless your family during this holiday season!
Love,
Amy
Love you.
Message
Oops! I didn’t include the message somehow! Anyway, I am thankful to be able to have your writings so that I can share your story with others, including my children. I am hopeful that it will be an encouragement to my sister, another mom who longs for her reunion with her child. May Judson continue to inspire hearts towards Christ!
Many blessings,
Carla Bortolamedi
Would love a copy of your book, do you ship to Northern Ireland, maybe I will get a free copy?
Continually praying for you all.
Wendy
Your journey has inspired me. In the midst of my circumstances (which pale in comparison to yours), I am reminded that our Lord walks beside us daily, giving the grace needed to make it through.
Thank you for being a light in the darkness.
Amy Vivona
Hi Christine. I´m very much looking forward to reading Judson´s book. Will it be available at stores in Canada?
Thank you again for letting us join you in this journey. I continue to have you in my thoughts and prayers. I look forward to reading your book and writing and would probably like to share it in the future with other friends.
Take care friend.
I am so proud of you and your 500th Blog Post!!! You truly inspire me!!!
I think it is great that you have shared from your heart. Few people would risk and be as real and authentic as you have been. I admire you for your courage!
Darn! I missed seeing this post! Thanks to computer issues at my house, my chances to "check in" have been few and far between, but I wanted to tell you that I DO still check in when I get a chance. I am so thankful for your blog… your vulnerability and honesty. Happy 500 blog posts. I hope that you all have a very Merry Christmas!