Judson's Legacy

15 Months without Jud

Dear family and friends,

Another month has passed, and we have now lived 15 months without Jud.  As I sit here and type this, Drake is across from me with red, swollen eyes after having spent some time watching videos of Judson and letting the emotions flow today.  As to be expected, we miss our boy with an unquenched thirst.  But this thirst is beginning to feel less and less foreign and becoming part of the basic fabric of our lives.

This month, month 15, is the first month since Judson died where we have actually felt somewhat like functional human beings.  It is the first month where every other emotion has not been completely smothered in grief and anguish.  The periods of intense brokenness continue, but the heavy burden of sorrow that weighs on our hearts has not been pressing down upon us with the same intensity.

We have now lived through the first year of loss, Judson’s second birthday in heaven, our second holiday season without him, and have moved into a new year – a year that is offering us many things to look forward to: Judson’ story being published, speaking engagements, a trip to the UK (hopefully if the logistics can be worked out!), a trip to New York as guests at a benefit for Universal Newborn Screening…

And there is a new development.  We have been approached by Talent 1 Media to have a short feature documentary made about Judson’s story and our testimony therein.  We are only in the very preliminary stages but will be meeting with the director in the next month to discuss logistics.  We would be so honored to have the opportunity to share his life in this manner.

The Lord is truly blessing us by giving us a glimpse at how he wants to use Judson’s life…

But the cost is HUGE!  I just want my boy, and wish none of these things existed.  Yet, grounded in the reality that he is gone, they are a great gift!!!

We are also thrilled to announce that Sarah, our dear friend and sister who served as Judson’s caregiver during his illness, is engaged!!  Her fiance Dean has also become a wonderful friend and we are honored that they have asked both Drake and I to stand with them on their special day.  Furthermore, they invited Jessie to be a flower girl and even wrote Judson a beautiful note asking him to be an honorary ring bearer.  We are SO touched! 

Sarah & Dean with the 3 flower girls for their wedding:
Amelia, Miranda, and Jessie

On a different note, things have been very challenging for Drake at work.  Vanguard has gone through some significant transitions and challenges that have really affected him and the many others connected to the university.  Some important changes have recently been made and a great leadership team is now in place but they face quite a battle to overcome some of the past difficulties.  We would covet your prayers for Drake as he not only deals with the loss of his Jud, but also faces considerable stresses at work, and even a few other things that have made it a tough season for him.  Yet, I must say, he amazes me the way he has handled it all with such grace and honor.

Our Father continues to show His faithfulness to us.  Each day may we learn to rest more comfortably in His loving arms.

Thank you for caring enough to want to know what is happening in our lives.

Much love and gratitude,
Christina (on behalf of Drake too)

10 Responses to "15 Months without Jud"

  1. jamie says:

    You absolutely amaze me with your heavenly perspective. Please let Drake know our prayers are with him and his extended family at Vanguard.

  2. Jeff Trammel says:

    We breathe a measured sigh of relief with you. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Lora says:

    I am praying for you guys and for Drake!


  4. Sarah Winkler says:

    Hi Christina and Drake,

    I have followed along on your blog since the beginning. Reading, praying and crying! I am so thankful that, although you will never completely heal this side of heaven, you have begun to feel just a tiny bit less grief. I think of you so often and am always excited to get your blog update and hear the great things God is doing through you! He continues to use Jud through your journey and we are blessed to be witness to it. I will be praying for Drake and Vanguard.


  5. Traci says:

    Hi friends,

    Thank you for keeping us so well update on your lives and journey. We love you so much and think of you often. We continue to pray for you. I can’t wait to see you for S and D’s wedding in July! When is your trip to the UK? I wonder if we could pop over and see you… hmmm… 🙂

    Love, Traci

  6. Mary Moraites says:

    Hi Christina and family,
    thank you for letting us know how you all are keeping. Yes, please keep on sharing about your lives, your up’s, your down’s, your happiness and your hurt’s, because, I, personally, have been "with you" for quiet some time now, and have "lived" through your turmoil, and all the rest you have shared with us, Christina, Drake, that I feel a part of your family..I feel that I need to hear about "my family", and what they are doing, so please, don’t stop posting.
    When I open my p.c., I always go throught my emails to see if I can spot your email, and when I do, yours is the first one to be opened! So don’t stop posting.
    There are many many people out there who feel the same like me.So KEEP ON!!
    God bless you in all that you do,
    lots of "far away HUGS"!,

  7. Joel and Jessica Johansen says:

    We keep your family in our prayers regularly. Drake is an amazing man of God and he is held in our prayers as Vanguard continues to transition and develop.

  8. Jean and Gary Butler says:

    Oh Christina and Drake~
    What an exciting "work" God is giving you and Drake. We think of the scripture in Romans 8:28 that says…" And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose".
    We just pray for you and Drake for everything that is needed in your personal lifes.
    Drake is an amazing man of God…..and you are one amazing woman.
    We love you all so much…..we are so excited for Jud and Jessie’s part in Sarah and Dean’s wedding!!!!!!
    Love and hugs to one beautiful family~
    Jean and Gary

  9. Tanya Britain says:

    Thank you for this update. We will keep you all in our prayers with the new opportunities that have come into your life and with Drakes work.


    Tanya Britain

  10. Sarah Hegenbart says:

    I love the Levasheffs!
    I continue to be blessed by your friendship during times we spend together, through conversation and by hearing your hearts in your blogs and teachings.

    Judson continues to change and grow me even 15 months later. I hope to always be moved by his smile and the precious memories I shared with him. They are truly treasures that I hold dear and ponder throughout my days.

    I am blessed to share life with you, both joys and pains. And I am thrilled to have the Levasheffs as a part of Dean and my wedding.

    Thank you for sharing in our joy and celebrating with us as well as helping learn more about each other.

    I love you!

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