There have been times this last year when I have been so devastated by my loss that I have actually hated the fact that this is my journey and, quite frankly, resented the path God has chosen for me (God, please forgive me!).  And though I have eternal hope, these moments cause me to feel

In the year 2008 Jessie grew from 16 months to 28 months old.  It is absolutely incredible how much a little life can change in that period time.  Most notably Jessie has far more hair, can carry on full conversations, runs and jumps, sings, and is several inches taller.  Each moment I spend with her

Jud is enjoying his 2nd birthday party with his cousins. Dear Judson, As this year comes to a close, it blows my mind that I wasn’t able to spend even a single second of it with you.  My greatest desire remained unfulfilled.  With all the longing in my heart, with each yearning of my soul,

Judson at 28 months old. I don’t know what emotions most parents experience on the first night of transitioning their child to a “big kid” bed, but ours was wrought with anguish this evening. It feels like ages ago that our home was filled with the life and energy of two healthy kiddos, while the

This holiday season, including Thanksgiving, Drake’s birthday, Jud’s birthday, and Christmas, left me acutely aware of my limitations.  There are so many expectations that seem to accompany celebrations of the season, whether external or internal expectations, and I discovered I was unable to meet many of them this year. Between not buying gifts for people,

As awful as it was to experience my son’s 4th birthday in his absence, it proved to be a day of sweet remembrance. We gathered with extended family at Judson’s grave site, each person bringing, decorations, toys, letters, and such to adorn his burial plot.  From the huge sign made by Aunt Danielle, Uncle Marty,

Various people at our church were asked to write reflections about a specific name given to Jesus and read them at our Christmas Eve service last night.  I was given the opportunity to reflect on one such name and thought I would post my vignette here.  Merry Christmas!” The Amen What child is this?  He

Dear Judson, Happy Fourth Birthday! I’d love to take you out for coffee today.  We could go to Peet’s.  Instead of sharing my drink with you, I’d get you your own.  And it would be a nice, sweet, Happy Birthday hot cocoa.  By the end, I’m sure you’d have chocolate all over your mouth-you are,