There is a technique in filmmaking whereby a highly busy street scene is sped up in fast motion, but there is one person in real time amidst the hurried landscape.
I am that person.
Somehow, since losing Judson, I feel like I am in a time-warp, everything surrounding me moving at a rapidly different pace. It is a strange sensation, like being in slow motion. While society seems to be in a constant state of activity, bustling around me, I am simply waiting, feeling, hoping, reflecting, but moving ever so slowly in relation to my environment.
My world stopped completely one day…and my pace has yet to catch up with the rest of the world around me.
I feel the same way sometimes, too, Christina. Sending lots of love
Forgive me if this is something that has already been posted, but it seemed to echo your sentiments today. Someone shared this on the blog of a woman who just lost her 5 month-old son to SIDS. Praying for today.
I know that life…it must go on…
Despite my very will…
But now that I have lost my child…
I find…that time stands still.
While others go about their days…
And time drifts quickly by…
My life can’t ever be the same…
No matter how I try…
I close my eyes and see his face…
And all that he might be…
But when I reach out with my hands…
I find… their still empty.
Yes…heaven must be beautiful…
In splendour and in glory…
Yes…lives have been forever touched…
By hearing my child’s story…
That doesn’t change these aching arms…
And somehow…time stands still…
For there’s a space within my heart…
That only he can fill.
And yes I remain thankful…
For each day we could share…
But please don’t say…that time will heal…
Just tell me that you care.
Don’t be afraid to say his name…
If you are so inclined…
Don’t worry that you’ll make me cry…
He’s always on my mind.
And if I cry a thousand tears…
That time cannot relieve…
Please…just try to understand…
That I will always grieve.
I know I’ll see my child again…
God promises I will…
But part of me went with him…
Sometimes…time stands still.
By: Stephanie Husted
Hi Christina,
I just wanted to send you this thought about "catching up". Maybe you are not supposed to "catch up". Maybe, at least for this time you are supposed to be in"slow motion". Sometimes we are given a slower pace, only God really knows why. Enjoy this time of "slow" and all that it allows you to feel, see, touch, hear and think. The pace will pick up soon enough and you will long for the "slower pace" again.
Love you
Sue
Christina…
I understand what you mean. As the world seems to whir around us…we are left to just stand and watch at times. However, in the same sense…I also feel that our kids and our experiences have taught us much in slowing down…experiencing, feeling, thinking, spending time. The world moves at such a fast pace sometimes, and things become a blur. We are all to aware of how important each..and…every…moment..is. This slowered pace allows us to breath it all in and truly experience our blessings. Much love to you and your family, Christina.