Judson's Legacy

4 Years Old

Dear Judson,

Ever since you died, my life feels like it moves at a pace and rhythm far different than the rest of the world.  This is especially evident today.  As the commotion and hustling bustling for Christmas swishes by me, my world comes to a screeching halt as we commemorate your birthday.

I gave birth to you at 4:04 am four years ago—a beautiful bouncing boy with a perfect APGAR score—the greatest Christmas gift anyone could possibly receive.  I vividly recall how my intense love for you was instantaneous when I held you for the first time, but it also grew with each day we shared life together.  What a gift and joy every day was with you as you became my Buddy Boo!  Yet, I never fathomed that you would leave so quickly.

You came from me and became a part of me, and now I miss you every hour of every day with every ounce of my being.  My body and soul yearn for you like nothing I have ever experienced.

You have spent your entire fourth year of life in eternity—separated from all your family here on earth who love you so much, and separated from me, your mama who would give anything for just a glimpse of you as a growing boy.  But I know you don’t feel the separation like we do.  You know no pain or sorrow, fear or suffering now.  And I praise God you are free from the bondages of this life and free from the dreadful disease that sucked the life right out of you.

But I hate living without you.  Every cell of my body feels the separation.  It hurts so much.  I long for just an inkling, a moment with you—to hear your voice develop, to see you get taller, to watch your features change with time, to catch a glimpse of you and your sister playing together.  How can it be that I will never celebrate another one of your birthdays with you here on earth?!??!

Judson, you are such an amazing boy; you have left a huge void in my heart and a huge void in this world.  Your life is worthy of rich celebration.  You exhibited more sensitivity, thoughtfulness, patience, self-control, love for people, and Godly perspective than most people who have lived well into adulthood.  You also amazed me with your sense of humor and extremely sharp mind.  You are an incredible blessing and treasure!!

But now my treasure is in heaven.  Seeing you again will never ever be soon enough…but I will wait.  I will wait with expectancy for the day that we will be together again and I can celebrate YOU in eternity with our Savior.

Happy 4th birthday Buddy Boo!

I love you so much,
Mommy

 

 

18 Responses to "4 Years Old"

  1. Jeff Trammel says:

    Happy Birthday Jud!

  2. Allyson Stevenson says:

    Well put Trammel Family…Happy 4th Birthday Jud!

  3. Misti Dunlap says:

    Happy Birthday Judson!

  4. Brandi says:

    Happy Fourth Birthday Judson, I’m thinking of you and your family!

  5. Amy Dresher says:

    Happy 4th Birthday, Jud!

  6. Dawn Mills says:

    Happy 4th Birthday, Dear Judson!!!!

    Levasheff family….my heart is with you today and always.

    Much Love….
    Dawn..Makinley’s Mommy

  7. hh says:

    You have been on our hearts and in our prayers the past few days–as always!–and especially today since the wee hours of the morning (Ben woke us up much too early, and I know I was praying right at 4 a.m. but didn’t know that was when Judson was born!).

    We are PRAISING GOD today for creating Jud, for his beautiful life, and for the incredible impact he has had on our lives and countless, countless others!

    Happy 4th birthday, Jud! We celebrate you today and yet our hearts ache for your mommy, daddy, sister, and all who love you and miss you so much.

    ALL our love and prayers,
    The Hobson Family

  8. Sandy Mitchell says:

    Happy 4th Birthday Sweet Judson!

    Christina, my heart is heavy with and for you today. Praying for you and hoping that perhaps your Judson windchimes might chime in with some music to lift your heart on this special and trying day.

    We miss your sweet boy and long for the day when he will again be in your arms.

    Lots of love,
    Sandy Mitchell

  9. Mandy says:

    You are in my thoughts and prayers today. May God be with you today and through this Christmas season.

    Mandy

  10. Melanie MacPherson says:

    happy birthday Jud !!!!

    Thinking of you all today.

    Love
    melanie xxx

  11. Mary says:

    Happy Birthday to Judson, an incredible and wonderful boy!

  12. Ksenia says:

    Happy Birthday Jud!!! S dnem rozhdenia! (it’s "happy birthday" in Russian 🙂 )

  13. Sarah Jones says:

    Happy 4th Birthday Jud-boy! You

  14. lisa taylor says:

    Happy Birthday Sweet Jud. I wish I could be on my way up there to your 4th birthday party with my 18 month old Jaden. I will instead dream of you celebrateing in Heaven. When you blow out your candles, blow real hard so your mommy and daddy can feel your breath upon their faces.
    I love you,
    Lisa Taylor

  15. Rebekah says:

    Happy Birthday Judson!!

    I think it is so special that you share a birthday with Jesus. It’s also fitting because you are a gift to all of us who have come to know and love you.

    I am thankful for the gift and blessing that you have been to me since I first heard your story…

    I am thankful for your sweet spirit and all the Christ-like qualities you challenge us to live.

    I am thankful for the way God has used you in my life to teach me about Himself.

    And Jud… I am so thankful that I will see you again!! I can’t wait to give you a huge hug!

    You are missed and loved!!

    Rebekah

  16. Mel Moon says:

    Happy Birthday Judson x I am sending your mummy and daddy extra love and care today because I know you have all you need where you are.

    xx

  17. Catherine Fenton says:

    Happy Birthday Jud Bud! Know that you are loved and celebrated my many people who wish you were here to join in the celebration. I hope all your birthday wishes come true, sweet boy.

    xo Cath

  18. Cassandra Sanchez says:

    The pain you’re enduring is heart wrenching, as I nurse my son my mind tries to go there to where your’s is….my heart aches, I am so sorry for your loss. You put it so well, yes he is no longer in pain. My thoughts are with you,

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