Judson's Legacy

The Modest Details

Tiny screw

It was just a tiny, insignificant fastener-screw.

I had purchased a new watch band and was unscrewing some pieces for the replacement when one of the minuscule fasteners went flying through the air. I had no idea where it landed. So I put down the screwdriver, and my now-deficient watch, and began methodically scouring our kitchen in hopes of finding it.

After about 20 minutes of unsuccessful searching Drake arrived home from work.

Curious as to why I was slithering along our marble floor on my hands and knees, he asked, “What are you doing?”

Feeling defeated, I stood up and walked over to my watch lying half-finished on our kitchen table. “I got my new band today, but one of these teensy screws dropped out of my hand. I have no idea where it fell,” I lamented with a deep sigh. “It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack, and if I don’t find it I can’t use my new band.”

“I’ll help you look,” Drake graciously replied.

After several minutes of searching with me, Drake suggested I gently sweep the floor and pick through the dirt to see if we could find the screw that way.

Willing to try anything at this point, I systematically moved the broom along our filthy floor, and then carefully searched the piles of lint, dropped-food remnants, and cat hair (yuck!) in hopes of finding the screw. But to no avail. The little screw was nowhere to be found.

After 40 minutes of searching, I was ready to give up when Drake asked, “Do you wanna pray that we find it?”

My heart sank. I sheepishly acknowledge that I didn’t want to pray about my lost fastener-screw. “Drake, that feels silly to me. I have a hard enough time praying about important things, much less something as insignificant as my watch screw.  What if we don’t find the screw? I’ll just be more disappointed.”

I vulnerably admit that I’ve continued to have difficulty petitioning God with specific requests since losing Judson. I deeply fear further disappointment. Though I’m acutely aware that prayer isn’t about getting what you want, but rather sharing your heart and engaging relationship with God, even still I struggle.

“Well, I’m gonna pray anyway.” Drake sat down at our kitchen table, closed his eyes and proceeded to ask God to help us find the fastener-screw for my watch band. Meanwhile, I wrestled inside.

“Amen,” he concluded.

Upon opening his eyes, he almost immediately exclaimed with surprise, “There it is!” pointing at a miniscule speck near him.

My mouth dropped open in disbelief, “Are you serious?”

Drake reached to pick it up and show me. There it was. My inconsequential watch-band screw was gloriously sitting in his hand.

“No way!” my heart leapt with joy and dismay as my mind began singing praises to God.

It was just a tiny, insignificant fastener-screw. But it reminded me how much God cares, even about the modest details of my life…despite my struggles to invite Him in.

 

15 Responses to "The Modest Details"

  1. Dan A. says:

    I struggle too trusting God to care for the the little things and humbly petitioning Him as my father. Good thoughtfulness

  2. I needed this today. And I have struggled with the same during my son's illness and recent death. Thank you!

  3. You nailed it….again. My greatest prayer request was that Jim get better and stay with us here. I feel somehow unqualified to pray for others.

  4. Bless you on your journey of healing! Matthew 16:24-26 reads, “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?”

  5. Pierre says:

    I think of your family on this 7th! I found your words in “Life is messy” so wise and so true. Nothing compares with speaking. I am quite the only one who asks my aunty about my deceased cousin, her son (from cystic fibrosis), whom I barely knew since I was too young when he passed away. Aunty and I laugh together as she tells me how cheeky Cyril was though his impairments. In my opinion, it makes her happy to remember him though me, as well as I am glad to discover more about my cousin. Strength and courage to you and your family, P.

    • Judson's Legacy says:

      Pierre…We are so incredibly touched by your thoughtfulness! Wow! Thank you for sharing a bit of your heart with us as you have journeyed with your Aunt through her loss of Cyril. You are clearly a blessing to us, to her, and I am sure many others! We are grateful for your your support!

      • Pierre says:

        One 7th again… Although I don’t need this monthly anniversary to think of Judson, I use it to share some of my thoughts with you: In the meantime, I cannot watch the videos about Jud on YouTube any longer, otherwise I burst into tears, but I remember very well his laugh, and maybe it’s just an illusion, but I have the impression to hear him throughout my son’s laughter. They both sound so similar. Also, I wanted to say that I love the song “Jud, Jesus loves you, Jud”, which can be heard in the video at the Wilson park. I don’t know why, but when I’m in a bad mood, this song come to my mind and makes me feel better. I wish all the best to Jessie, Drake and you. P.

  6. Thank you. My prayers go out to you and your family. How is your other child?

  7. Thank you, Stephanie. Jessie is healthy and just a carrier of Krabbe disease. We delight in her life every day, just as we do Jud's!

  8. Thank you, Sheila. I can so relate to your words!!

  9. That eans more than you know, Sarah. Thank you!

  10. I struggle with this so much. Sometimes I fear praying for someone for the worry that if it's not answered, I'll feel discouraged. Thank you for helping me NOT feel so alone.

  11. Xavier says:

    I once prayed to God for a screw, and I can tell you, it did work. Here’s what happened. I was at a conference for work out of town and saw this beatiful, stacked blonde across the room. We made eye contact. “God, I would LOVE to screw her!” I said to myself. Not being married, I mean, why not, right?

    Well, my prayer was answered later that evening. Sure, it wasn’t a long screw, and we never saw each other again, but my prayer was answered.

  12. Xavier says:

    Ah, geez, it was only a joke, a pun. Poor taste, but we Christians are not all perfect. My apologies if the ribald humour offended. Just trying to lighten things up.

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